"everyone should have their pronouns in their email signature!!" my pronouns inherently out me, i have two public-facing jobs dealing with a lot of conservative men, and outside of that i email people almost exclusively to organise trademe purchases/etc

obviously i'm pretending to be a cis woman for sw purposes. but i'm also, specifically, /pretending to be a cis woman who doesn't put she/her in her signature/. at my customer service job i need to stay as anonymous as humanly possible to avoid harassment, too

tbh this also applies irl for many of us. when playing magic in public, for example, i don't actually want anyone to correct my opponent on my pronouns. i am there to play a game, and every trans person's mileage varies. correcting them means they're gonna resent /me/ not you

the very short version of this is: ask your local trans person what they actually want before being an ally. this brought to you by this disaster i just saw on reddit, probably the peak "cis ally who doesn't listen" story ever https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jy789b/aita_for_offending_someone_who_assumed_i_was_trans/

also: telling people they HAVE to put their pronouns in their bios or whatever means assuming that someone isn't a) questioning b) closeted already. maybe they're like me and don't mind a particular assumption, but don't want to explicitly approve it or be out in that context