Having a marginalized identity/experience is not an excuse, shield, or justification for being an asshole or being abusive - especially to other marginalized people. I've run into this attitude so many times, both as a resigned, passive belief, and as a weaponized abuse tactic.

This is the idea that if someone is queer, trans, disabled, BIPOC, poor, or marginalized in any other way, they are somehow incapable of harming or abusing others. That their marginalized experiences/identities or trauma is a free pass to be abusive to others unchecked.

It is definitely true that there are layers and nuances to harm and abuse. For instance, a marginalized person does not at all have the support of systems/structures of power when they harm other marginalized people or when they harm people privileged relative to them.

And on the other hand, when someone clearly has significantly more power, privilege, and resources than the person/people they are harming, the impact of the harm is intensified by the systems and structures of power that negate or preclude any potential consequences.

To be clear, this is NOT about saying we shouldn't be angry, or express anger, when anger is justified. This is about when people using their marginalized identities as a shield or to preemptively delegitimize/invalidate other people from talking about the harm they cause.

What this is about is saying that it is a pattern I've witnessed and experienced - unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of this tactic plenty of times, in both advocacy spaces and in my personal life with acquaintances and (former) friends.

If a person of color harms someone, calling out that harm is not necessarily or automatically racist. (There are racist *ways* to do it.)

If a disabled person harm someone, calling out that harm is not necessarily or automatically ableist. (There are ableist *ways* to do it.)

This actually gives rise to the phenomenon of people seeming to intentionally state or name their marginalized identities/experiences as a response to other people naming the harm they've done. As if having the marginalized identity itself is a defense, excuse, or justification.

But at the end of the day, if we want to be in right relationship with people in our communities, we have to be willing to take accountability for the myriad, infinite ways we are each capable of harm/ing. We all have capacity to harm. We all have capacity to learn and grow.