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But what if Sakusa is the type to fall in love easily and a lot. He falls in love briefly and just a little bit with everyone he meets but like water splashing off selophane, it doesn& #39;t stick. It& #39;s superficial the way he falls in love with the way someone hiccups when they laugh,
another uses a handkerchief after washing their hands, another bites their lip when they& #39;re confused, or another tilts their head when they smile.
He always falls a little in love with everyone but never enough because it never lasts. So he avoids it. He& #39;d rather come off as cold from the get go than have to admit,
"I loved you for only the fleeting moment as you tripped over your own feet and let out a little squeak, but I don& #39;t anymore."
He has so many snippets of love but he never has enough to give fully to all these people, so he& #39;s always a little bit alone
Maybe thats why Miya Atsumu frustrates him so much. The boy whose face is lined with arrogance and tongue drips with insolence and yet
Maybe thats why Miya Atsumu frustrates him so much. The boy whose face is lined with arrogance and tongue drips with insolence and yet
And yet he pours love out of him even in the heat of his anger he is an unencumbered waterfall flowing and pouring and splashing everything around him
He is an asshole but he so clearly loves without fear, so unlike Sakusa
He is an asshole but he so clearly loves without fear, so unlike Sakusa
Sakusa tells himself he& #39;ll never fall in love with him. Not his indignant little squawks, not his terrible hair he so clearly loves, not the way always sets the ball so perfectly, not the way he pouts when he& #39;s annoyed,
or counts on his fingers when he does even the simplest math problems, or sticks his tongue out at every godforsaken moment
He most certainly does not begin to fall in love with the way at their third training camp in their third year he is quieter than before
He most certainly does not begin to fall in love with the way at their third training camp in their third year he is quieter than before
because it isn& #39;t beautiful—it& #39;s heartbreaking; a dam now built in the boy that never stopped before
In the early hours of the mornings before everyone else is up, Sakusa sees the sad smiles on his face and the half hearted teasing he attempts and Sakusa could not love that
In the early hours of the mornings before everyone else is up, Sakusa sees the sad smiles on his face and the half hearted teasing he attempts and Sakusa could not love that
There are so many things about this boy that could be loved, but not that. And on the last night, breaking his own rule, Sakusa decides to step into the plunge pool because he needs to know what could break a boy woven from love
Maybe it& #39;s selfish, maybe Sakusa asks because he wants to know because if Atsumu could break, then most certainly so could Sakusa
Atsumu smiles and huffs a laugh and asks if it& #39;s & #39;that obvious?& #39; Then sighs so sad and tells how he is, in a way, loosing his brother, how he& #39;d no longer be by his side like they used to always promise—
he& #39;s losing one half of himself, the only person he could ever trust, the only person who ever cared for him for more than what he could give them
And Sakusa learns the story of a boy who always gives too much, and never leaves enough for himself, who hides it all behind an abrasive wall to slow people down and try save himself; though it always ends up an exercise in futility
because he falls in love and he latches on and they never give it back in the same way, or the right way. But it used to be fine, he always had his brother.
Now he won& #39;t
Then he laughs a laugh that rattles and shakes and smiles so tight, and says,
Now he won& #39;t
Then he laughs a laugh that rattles and shakes and smiles so tight, and says,
"thanks for listening to me, I know you probably didn& #39;t want to hear all that"
And it didn& #39;t. Because Sakusa falls in love so easily and quickly with all the superficial trivial things in people and he wasn& #39;t ready for this
And it didn& #39;t. Because Sakusa falls in love so easily and quickly with all the superficial trivial things in people and he wasn& #39;t ready for this
He wasn& #39;t ready to fall in love with the way this arrogant boy& #39;s voice shook when his confidence faltered. The way the harsh white lights made him look frail, the way he smiled and laughed when he spoke of his brother and the way he was so heartbreakingly vulnerable
and Sakusa understood that the reason he hadn& #39;t fallen at least a little bit in love with him before is because all he had ever seen up until now were just characters and masks
And then Atsumu is gone from the room and the feeling should follow; but it doesn& #39;t.
Instead of being a drop of water on selophane, his love becomes the selophane itself and it wraps around his heart and squeezes at every thought of the boy made from love and lined in self doubt
Instead of being a drop of water on selophane, his love becomes the selophane itself and it wraps around his heart and squeezes at every thought of the boy made from love and lined in self doubt
And Sakusa stops falling in love briefly and just a little bit with everyone meets, because this one sticks.
//end. this is meant to be a happy ending despite it& #39;s ambiguity haha
vaguely inspired by someone new by hozier
vaguely inspired by someone new by hozier
PLEASE IGNORE MY BLATANT MISPELLING OF CELLOPHANE THRICE!!!
