Both Tharn and Type have valid arguments about the marriage and so, they have inevitably been bound to clash. #TharnTypeSS2EP3 #TharnTypeTheSeriesSS2 #Mewgulf

The Marriage Argument Part I

A thread:+
The reason for the clash is that they’re two people who have been formed by very different experiences, including their individual past traumas, making them into the men they are now:
an idealist with a streak for eternal optimism and a realist with a tendecy for negativity; an all-out gay and a former homophobe; a hopeless romantic and a cynical pragmatic, someone who’s loved before and was broken by it and a man who is in love for the first time in his life.
Season 1 focused on Type’s problems, flaws and character development as he had come a very long way. And although Tharn’s issues were addressed, they have never been completely resolved,
therefore the focus in Season 2 shifts towards him and delves deeper into his character: his insecurities, hopes and personality traits.
It’s not only their differences which divide them, but also what they have in common because like repels like, so while Tharn and Type differ in many ways, they are viscerally and uncannily similar in others, which is something many people don’t realise.
THEY ARE BOTH FIGHTERS - strong, stubborn as mules and immensely brave - who have overcome huge obstacles, not only in their relationship, but also as individuals.
For instance, everyone talks about how stubborn Type is, but it gets rarely mentioned that Tharn is as stubborn, if not even more. He merely isn’t so loud about it.
The most important and inherent aspect of Tharn’s personality is that he is an idealist who has always wished for the impossible and fought losing battles, ultimately having his wishes granted and winning those battles most of the times due to his dogged stubborness
and refusal to budge and give up on what he believes in. He’s been like this for most of his life, even before we met him in S01E01, so when some people claim that the Tharn in Season 2 is not the same Tharn, they never really known him or understood him.
Therefore, it there is one quote that perfectly describes Tharn in both seasons, it is this one:
Tharn’s always dreamed the impossible dream: to study music, for Type to love him and only him one day. Furthermore, he’s fought against the odds and opposition: the prejudice against his sexuality, his parents’ initial refusal to allow him study music, Type’s bullying,
Type wanting to keep their relationship a secret from everyone else,... and he has overcome and defeated all of them with his unrelenting optimism and relentless refusal to give up.
He still believed in love despite all his terrible breakups and didn’t give up on Type no matter how badly Type treated him, believing Type was a good person.
The very qualities that stopped Tharn from moving out of the dorm when Type harassed him 7 years ago, leading to them being together, and enabled him to live his life the way he wanted and to win Type’s love, despite the fact he had been fighting a losing battle each time -
tenacity and pride and insane stubbornness - are both his greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses. So once again Tharn hopes for the impossible: this time, it’s marriage.
Tharn accepted himself a long time ago, coming out to his parents when he was in 12th grade, openly admitting that he was gay at school and later, at work, as well. Unlike Type, he is an all-out gay, therefore he is in a very different place than his lover.
However, he, too, had struggled with it. It took him 4 years before he dared to come out to his parents and publicly reveal he’s gay. So ever since, he’s been dealing with everything that comes with it, both the positive and negative.
There must have been times when Tharn was marginalized, discriminated against and felt inferior due to his sexual orientation, most noticebly while being bullied by a certain homophobic roommate. On the other hand,
while Type told his family and friends about his relationship, he’s never come out publicly, so he still lacks the final step and the experience that comes with it.
Performing at his own brother's engagement party the love song he wrote for Type and watching him propose to the woman he loves, while still hurting because Type hasn't come,refused his own proposal many times and doesn’t want to get married to him, break something inside Tharn.
He wants the same thing, but he can’t have it and that makes him hurt, desolate, bitter and envious. He’s been with Type for much longer than Thorn with Am and they’ve been through so much, earning their right to be together, yet marriage seems like another impossible dream,
the only thing that Type has refused to give him. Not only does he feel cheated of something that should be his, but it makes him feel inferior, marginalized and not good enough.
Because if he were a woman, Type wouldn’t refuse to talk about him with his co-workers and would have agreed to marry him a long time ago.Instead,Tharn has to come up with excuse why he won't introduce his boyfriend to his collegues. This has been an ongoing issue since season 1.
And this is where those who argue that if Type doesn't want to get married Tharn shouldn't make him completely misunderstand the problem - the marriage is only a symbol, representing equality and Tharn's desire to be like any other couple in all the things that matter.
While Tharn can compromise a lot, he is no doormat and has a certain set of morals and beliefs he will never break. He has enough self-worth to know that he deserves better. Once again, it’s the same quality which didn’t allow him to move out of the dorm when Type bullied him.
So it says a lot that the only time Tharn seriously contemplated breaking up with Type was when he thought Type slept with Puifai. He couldn’t bear to be treated as second rate, a spare tire, a mistress and a dirty secret and share Type with someone else.
It’s a line he will never be able to cross, his heart won’t allow it. Tharn wants equality, thus he wants it all, wants what everyone else has. Being denied marriage to the love of his life makes him feel incomplete, deficient, depraved, as if he were somehow undeserving of it.
Speaking of inferiority, Tharn has never gotten over his abandonment issues: being dumped by all his past lovers, including Tar, his first love,... In fact, it has actually become worse when Type broke up with him 7 years ago. It might have been fake,
but Tharn didn’t know that back then, so the heartbreak he felt was real - his body, his heart and his mind went through a real breakup and they remember it all. The thing with traumas is that while you might heal and overcome them,
you will never forget about them because they leave behind traces, scars that will hurt from time to time and never let you forget about them. During his formative years, Tharn got used to being thrown away and Type’s abandoment was the one that cut him the deepest.
Because of all this, Tharn developed a deeply-rooted and hidden inferiority complex together with his fear of being left behind. Deep down, he always worries that he isn’t good enough and that no matter how hard he tries, he will be abandoned in the end.
The scar caused by Type’s breakup has never healed and was left to fester, staying latent over the years, and it’s always been only a matter of time before it reared its ugly head. There is always a price to pay and the consequences of that breakup have been merely delayed.
The mere mention of breakup is enough to trigger Tharn, but hearing Type explaining to Thorn that marriage would make things more messy and difficult when they broke up shatters him, it’s basically the ultimate trigger.
Tharn knows what it feels like to lose Type,he lived through it and it almost destroyed him,so he doesn’t want to experience it ever again because he wouldn’t survive it.Therefore he has been doing everything in his powers to prevent it and bind Type to him in every way possible,
desperately trying to stop him from leaving and himself from being abandoned once again. And marriage is one of those bonds, actually, it’s a real palpable bond that binds a person’s life to another. It involves people making a sacred and legally binding promise,
proclaiming their love publicly, in front of eveyone, and they exchange rings, the symbol of the bond and eternity, as well. In some cultures, the couple’s ahnds get literally binded together. So it’s no wonder that Tharn desires to get married to Type so much.
Moreover, a proposal, an engagement party and a wedding ceremony are incredibly romantic moments and Tharn is the ultimate romantic with a penchant for grand romantic gestures and declarations, organizing glamping dates on rooftops, giving his boyfriend red roses,...
Finally, the primary reason for the inferiority complex and fear of abandonment comes from the fact that THARN IS A MIDDLE CHILD.His family is very loving and he’s never been neglected,but being a middle child means he is neither fish nor fowl,neither the oldest nor the youngest.
He’s grown used to taking himself out of the equation, to compromise and to share the love of his parents with his siblings. So he desperately wants someone to be only his, someone who he doesn’t have to share with anyone;
HE WANTS TYPE AND HIS LOVE TO BELONG ONLY TO HIM, COMPLETELY AND UNCONDITIONALLY. It’s a visceral need on his part and the reason behind his strong jealous streak.
Part II - Type's POV: coming soon...
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