would you push a button to ensure your cat is >90iq

would you push a button to enable your cat to do basic domestic tasks

would you push a button to enable your cat to talk

would you push a button to make your cat >90iq and able to do basic domestic tasks but unable to communicate with you in any way that they do not use already

would you push a button to enable your cat to become a fully functioning member of your household with mental capabilities similar to the average adult, and would you also give said cat domestic responsibilities

if your cat was a fully functioning member of your household with mental capabilities similar to the average adult would you demand that it find some means of supporting itself financially

if your family member was a fully functioning cat with mental capabilities similar to the average cat would you demand that it find some means of supporting itself financially

what is the appropriate ethical framework for negotiating human-ordinary cat relations

what is the appropriate ethical framework for negotiating human/intelligent-yet-speechless cats

what is the appropriate ethical framework for negotiating human/domestic-task-capable cat relations

is it morally permissible to enter into a romantic relationship with an uplifted cat capable of financially providing for you and his entire family

is it morally permissible to enter into a sexual relationship with an uplifted cat capable of financially providing for you and her entire family

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i hope we all learned something about cats today

i blame @chrisgardenuk for making me write these polls agaisnt my will https://twitter.com/chrisgardenuk/status/1330187082661306368

at the request of @decadantism i must continue

should you be embarrassed if your (ordinary) cat catches you naked

should you be embarrassed if your uplifted cat catches you naked

should you be embarrassed if you see your uplifted cat naked

say your uplifted cat is a longhaired breed that needs to be trimmed every so often

are you compelled to buy your cat clothes when it has been trimmed

is your uplifted cat responsible for washing itself when it gets dirty outside

is it erotic to forcibly wash your uplifted cat when they refuse to take their own bath

is your uplifted cat responsible for doing its own laundry

should you be embarrassed if you find your uplifted cat rolling around in your dirty laundry

should you be embarrassed if your uplifted cat asks to wear your clothes

should your uplifted cat be embarrassed if you get cat fur on your clothes

?

h/t to the inestimable @eigenrobot

all work is completely derivative and contains no original thought