What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Ford announces Toronto & Peel regions will move into the Grey zone. Then he and Brian Lilley move all of Ontario into the bromance Twilight Zone.
2. Reports reveal CPC administrative teams staffed entirely by Andrew Scheer's sisters.

3. Ford says York region not moved to lockdown because Vaughan Working Families assures him Lecce's Team Nonnas promise to behave.
4. Elliott says when Dr Williams said Ontario would be back in Green by Xmas he meant green sweaters.
5. Lecce says 113% of Ontario schools are safe.

6. UCP's Ministry of Environment and Parks says data they haven't collected yet indicates many parks they're selling are underutilized.
7. Kenney to tear out Living Wall on Federal Building. Says the $75K savings can be better used buying For Sale ads for parks he's not selling.

8. Madu says AB to stop practice of Carding. Says street checks will continue though because those are really delightful social interactions Indigenous people say they quite enjoy.
9. Henshaw says Kenney and Shandro don't attend Covid briefings because Oil & Gas not feeling well.

10. As Covid cases soar in Alberta, UCP introduces legislation to cut red tape.
11. As Covid cases soar in Ontario, Doug announces new office supplies procurement system.
12. As Covid cases soar in Canada, O'Toole announces things in Canada were much better before the pandemic.

13. Premier of Canada's most populated province admits he subscribes to the Toronto Sun and his wife makes Toronto Sun scrapbooks. That's it. That's the scary part.
14. Doug announces on Monday there will be an announcement on Wednesday about an upcoming announcement on Friday.

15. National Post article implies 800K Canadians fraudulently collected CERB. CRA says that's untrue. Post shrugs.
16. 'Great Reset' conspiracy theory gains traction for two hours on Tuesday, but then Poilievre gets distracted proclaiming his love for his wife and Michael Cooper.

17. Rempel outraged that Health Canada isn't distributing Fast Testing the FDA has deemed ineffective. That's it. That's the funny part.
18. O'Toole says he'll probably give Scheer a stern talking to about Scheer's decision to maybe have done something a smidge ethically naughty.

19. Giuliani suffers rare medical condition. Causes large intestine to excrete itself through face.
20. Ivanka says she use to like Orange is the New Black but now says it's a dumb show that could never happen in real life, right?
21. Don Jr gets first positive test result ever.

22. Doug insists his decision to take a week to announce lockdowns which will happen after his birthday weekend had nothing to do with his reservations at Harv's Birthday Funtime Eats and Go-Karting Track this weekend
23. Lecce levels up on redoubling the layers of his hiding.

24. Half measures mean lockdowns will inevitably expand to other regions and be longer than a month. On the bright side though, this may slow down Doug's cross-province election campaigning. Maybe.
25. Conservatives say free speech is critical. I got blocked by Shandro this week.

26. UCP argues that just because only 20 people have used their Made-in-Berta Covid app that doesn't mean those 20 Issue Managers haven't got good value from it.
27. Kenney says federal Covid alert app totally faulty. Says the pizza he ordered on the app still hasn't arrived.

28. After a great 20-year stint, this marks the last weekend of me living in downtown Toronto. I'll miss weekends hangin' in Kensington, daily walks through Ontario Place before Doug tears it down, and all the diversity. I won't miss the traffic, condo construction or lake fires.

29. Sure, things feel like they suck right now. My unsolicited advice? Think back to a time in your days when things were totally bleak. Really hard. You got through all that, right?

We'll be okay.

But yeah, we should probably stop voting Conservative.