After leaving evangelicalism, it’s easy to stay in a toxic marriage because we were taught to believe that a) they’re supposed to last for life, and b) holding on to something that hurts us can feel safe. But it’s really just conditioned religious codependency.

Even after we’ve long mentally deprogrammed the theology that told us we’re all existential pieces of shit and our holiness is measured by our sacrifice — those ideas still linger in our muscle memory. We’re used to them. They’re familiar. And they stay with relationships.

Our joy — not just our tolerance for mediocrity or chaos — matters.

Our body is good. Not only good when we make others feel good.

And sacrifice, particularly if unrealistic or unreciprocated, is unhealthy.