And I’m sure this meeting would have been perfectly nice and calm, with no continuation of the bullying… I’ve worked places where bullies have made similar offers. “Upset with me? Just come talk about it.” No thanks. https://twitter.com/BBCr4today/status/1330064918951890946

One boss had us all in fear every morning, wondering what mood we’d have to face. But with the big bosses?? Sweetness and light. They’d have insisted there was no bullying, that it was fine. Because bullies don’t bully people if they don’t have power over them. They’re cowards.

Still come across bullies in this industry now, tolerated because of their talent. Absolutely lovely to writers, directors and actors- monsters to crew, script editors, etc. Ask different people how a bully is to work with, you’ll hear about two VERY different people.

But they didn’t bully *me*! How could they be a bully?! Are you *sure* it was that bad? Were you being oversensitive? They can be a bit forceful! Maybe you just took it the wrong way? Toughen up a bit. Why are you being difficult? Can’t you just get over it? Don’t upset them!

Couple of years ago I had a monstrous exec on a show I was trying to get going. Hated every minute, was stressed, dreaded meetings. Finally had enough, defended myself, and *immediately* he was all “I’ve NEVER had a writer behave this way, you’re clearly not right for this”

I was the problem for fighting back, I was difficult, causing problems where there were none, “fighting me on everything”. I left, and took ALL my work with me, so he had to start from scratch with some other poor fucker. I still shudder when I see an ad for a show he was on.

He doesn’t have a bad reputation in the industry. He’s well respected. And he probably slagged me off to the next person, to the TV channel, god knows who else or how much work I lost thanks to him. Shouldn’t talk out of school like this. But fuck him, and fuck all bullies.

He had me dreading every phone call, every set of notes, I lost sleep, I was angry around the house, it dragged on for ages. Such a relief when it ended- he probably thought I’d cave in and do anything he wanted. But I was delighted to finally leave him to it. Show still unmade…

I bet even the other exec on the show would have said he wasn’t a bully, that he was lovely. Sure. To *them*. But a dick to me. They never saw it. So he’ll get away with it. But not forever. It always catches up with you. And when it does, I’ll be watching, shitface. Smiling.

(Ah, I wish this was my only story like this. I have TONS. Welcome to TV and film!)

(Also: he’ll never know it was him if he sees this, because he won’t see it in himself, AND because this could be about FIVE different people who did pretty much the same thing to me and others. Yay!)

(Also also: I was in no way safe because of my straight white maleness, but am fully aware of how much worse it could have been had I not been one)