Absolutely not gonna QT because we don't need that, but I was rubbernecking at @JustSayXtian's mentions and found this little evangelical nugget of… something. The idea that we all "evangelize" about things we care about, all the time.

Quoth the right-wing turd boy: "Evangelism is exactly what each and every person around the world does every day on virtually every subject. It is discussing a subject with a person and attempting to convince them you are right."

And further, "We do this all day, every day with sports, news, politics, movies, favorite cars, clothes, electronics brands, etc. There is almost never a conversation in which we do not try to convince each other one of us is right and the other is wrong."

The thing is … no. I don't. And I refuse to hang out with people who do.

(Although growing up Evangelical, boy howdy yes this was the default mode of communication."

There are books I read and get excited about and want to share with people.

I say, "Have you read ____?"
They say, "No! Should I?"

I DO NOT SAY "omg you should it's so gooooood"

(and fuck, I hate it so much when other people say that to me. HATE IT.)

I say, "Ooh, well I really love it! It has lesbian pirates, some casual trans representation, and time travel! Not sure if the steamy sex scenes are quite your speed, but I know you like time-traveling lesbian pirates!"

The ONLY time in recent memory I've absolutely buttonholed a friend and said HELLO YOU MUST READ THIS NOW was @meaganwrds and MIDDLEGAME (Seanan McGuire).

That was a specific instance of HOLY FUCK NEVER HAS A BOOK MORE PERFECTLY REMINDED ME OF A FRIEND'S SPECIFIC TASTE IN TIME-TRAVEL, WAS IT WRITTEN FOR HER INDIVIDUALLY??

Currently my fannish friend group is mostly all reading the Locked Tomb series (Gideon the Ninth, etc) and yelling happily at each other about it. One friend got partway thru and was like, "nope, not for me, DNF!"

I was pleased to see that not one of us said "AWWWW but it gets so GOOD just STICK WITH IT."

We all said, "yeah, not for everyone! do you want the plot rundown of how the mysteries turned out?"

Meagan just made my next point for me! https://twitter.com/meaganwrds/status/1329862213423730690?s=20

I don't have any patience left for "this book is Objectively Good, if you don't like it you're an [insert ableist slur of choice]"

Tell me why you like it. Tell me why you think I might like it.

Is it a sweet, fun, sexy romp with Only One Bed and Fake Dating But Oops They Caught Feelings?

Is it a meandery, lyrical mystery with deftly-woven-together POV shifts and carefully-scattered clues?

Tell me what it has going for it, and let me decide what I'm in the mood for!

When I was a smallish person, we lived across the street from the local NPR Morning Edition host. I used to cat sit for him & his partner, and occasionally they paid me to shovel their walk in the winter.

One time there was a radio station event, and we got to tour the booths, hear about how they timed things to the second, learn more about fundraising and ads.

Something I heard that day has stuck with me for the last decade.

When writing their ad spots, they said the guideline they worked by was to never, ever tell their listeners what to do. They took this so seriously that they wouldn't even use the imperative form.

This meant none of the following:
- "Come on down!"
- "See for yourself!"
- "Try our latest!"

Not even:
- "Check out our website!"
- "Give us a call!"

NOT EVEN
- "Learn more at www dot example dot com"

Instead, even their advertising took on a calm, soothing, no-pressure tone.

"Trudy's Burgers has rolled out an all-new Turkey Dinner Burger, which promises the 'full flavor sensation' of a turkey dinner in handy burger form. --

"Trudy's Burgers is located at [address] or can be reached at [phone number]. More information about Trudy's Turkey Dinner Burger, as well as the rest of their menu, at www dot trudys burgers dot com."

As a smallish Evangelical person, remember being absolutely shocked by this guideline, by the lengths to which they went just to respect their listeners' autonomy. Even down to such a small and simple matter as which way they structured their sentences.

I think the world would be a sweeter place to live if all advertising followed that guideline.

(As I dip my toes into the waters of authorial self-promo, I've been trying to explore ways to respect my followers' autonomy while still yelling the necessary amount about my upcoming fiction.)

So here's my ad spot:

My first published story is a kinky nb/f slice-of-life, about two polyam queers having a good fuck after a long day. It's part of BEST LESBIAN EROTICA OF THE YEAR v5, out December 8th from @cleispress, and can be ordered here: https://cleispress.com/book/2841/best-lesbian-erotica-of-the-year-volume-5/

In conclusion, here's why I spent a whole thread about Evangelicalism talking about books and advertising:

Evangelical Christianity relies heavily on advertising and aggressive sales techniques. The playbook is literally the same.

I grew up being taught "how to evangelize to people." As an adult, I had a job that sent me to sales trainings.

The techniques to "overcome objections", wear people down, create a sense of urgency, ratchet up the stakes, and pressure them into a decision? Same stuff.

(One such popular evangelical tactic: "WHAT IF YOU DIE TOMORROW?? what if you have to look Jesus in the face and tell him you put off doing the right thing until it was TOO LATE??? and then he has to toss you into the flames of eternal agony????)

Yesterday the absolutely lovely @MamalehC said

"Imagine being so bad at having a cool religion that you have to BEG people to join your party, like the little shithead kid whose mom rents a bounce house so he can pretend to have friends one day a year."

IF YOU WERE FUN TO HANG OUT WITH, WE'D JUST COME TO THE PARTY.

That's the ultimate problem with Evangelicalism. Aside from the utter disregard of consent and the absolute refusal to respect boundaries.

Underneath all that? It's a hollow religion.

Other forms of Christianity (queer Christians, Quakers, Episcopalians & non-USA Anglicans, I'm looking at u) spend far less time worrying about proselytizing and so have time to actually focus on the substance of their religion.

(This is why so many little disillusioned evangelical kids grow up to be exvangelical Anglicans!)

Evangelical Christianity, though?

It's basically a multi-level marketing pyramid scheme.

The focus is all on "SHARE THE GOOD NEWS, BRING MORE LOST SOULS INTO THE FOLD, TELL THEM JESUS WILL FIX THEM,"

and then when they get all converted? it's "GO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS."

(The other half of the story, which I won't get into here, is the insidious creep of Christian fundamentalism. Not this thread.)

The further I dug into Evangelicalism, wanting thoughtful discussion of ethics and how to live out a fundamental respect for life…

… the more proof-texting, cherry-picking, and aggressive sales techniques I found.

It was hollow.

Anyway, that's why I'm becoming Jewish.

Let's make the world a sweeter place, friends.