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The MD 50 greatest school related memories of our youth list. In order.
Number 50
Everybody wearing exactly the same strange sandals in primary school
Number 50
Everybody wearing exactly the same strange sandals in primary school
Number 49
The horrors of the swimming pool foot bath. Floating Elastoplast and ground zero verruca infection.
The horrors of the swimming pool foot bath. Floating Elastoplast and ground zero verruca infection.
Number 48
The Snorkel Parka
The Snorkel Parka
Number 47
Warm milk and a stale Sports Biscuit served by a smug 'Monitor'.
Warm milk and a stale Sports Biscuit served by a smug 'Monitor'.
Number 46
Plasticine.
The supreme pleasure of opening a new packet. No cross colour contamination, plenty of elasticity, yet to be shoved in noses, ears or chewed for a dare.
Plasticine.
The supreme pleasure of opening a new packet. No cross colour contamination, plenty of elasticity, yet to be shoved in noses, ears or chewed for a dare.
Number 45
Road safety in the big hall: ‘Any volunteers to be knocked down?’
Road safety in the big hall: ‘Any volunteers to be knocked down?’
Number 44
Popping out of school at lunchtime to listen to dial-a-disc or be terrified by Wearside Jack.
Popping out of school at lunchtime to listen to dial-a-disc or be terrified by Wearside Jack.
Number 43
Mary, Mungo and Midge.
Watched on your own in a freezing cold house when you were off sick from school.
Mary, Mungo and Midge.
Watched on your own in a freezing cold house when you were off sick from school.
Number 42
The Banda duplicator. Operated by a perma-smoking Technician in a mysterious little room.
The Banda duplicator. Operated by a perma-smoking Technician in a mysterious little room.
Number 41
School glue
School glue
Number 40
Izal horror
Izal horror
Number 39
Taught in a portakabin on the playground while part of the school was condemned/flooded/burned down
Taught in a portakabin on the playground while part of the school was condemned/flooded/burned down
Number 38
The custard jug
The custard jug
Number 37
The Bunsen burner.
Gas, fire, asbestos and classroom full of lunatics. What could go wrong?
The Bunsen burner.
Gas, fire, asbestos and classroom full of lunatics. What could go wrong?
Number 36
Coming home from school with your 'instrument' after joining the school band
Coming home from school with your 'instrument' after joining the school band
Number 35
The rope: the humiliation of not being able to do it Vs the pain and broken bones of falling off from the top.
The rope: the humiliation of not being able to do it Vs the pain and broken bones of falling off from the top.
Number 34
Smoking in the bike shed
"But Sir, they are only Menthols"
"Ah, OK - be off with you" (not even confiscated)
Everyone on Embassy within a year. Then Park Drive, Senior Service, industrial strength roll-ups (later with filter discarded). Gone by 50.
Smoking in the bike shed
"But Sir, they are only Menthols"
"Ah, OK - be off with you" (not even confiscated)
Everyone on Embassy within a year. Then Park Drive, Senior Service, industrial strength roll-ups (later with filter discarded). Gone by 50.
Number 33
"ONE f*cking sausage?"
"ONE f*cking sausage?"
Number 32
The Overhead Projector (OHP)
"IT'S BACK TO FRONT SIR! IT'S UPSIDE DOWN SIR! THE END'S CUT OFF SIR! IT'S ALL SMUDGED SIR!"
The drama of the blown bulb.
The Overhead Projector (OHP)
"IT'S BACK TO FRONT SIR! IT'S UPSIDE DOWN SIR! THE END'S CUT OFF SIR! IT'S ALL SMUDGED SIR!"
The drama of the blown bulb.
Number 31
The language lab.
Now it's all hub. Then it was all lab.
The language lab.
Now it's all hub. Then it was all lab.
Number 30
School holiday potato picking. £1 per day.
School holiday potato picking. £1 per day.
Number 29
The Duralex school milk glass
When dropped would either bounce or absolutely explode.
The Duralex school milk glass
When dropped would either bounce or absolutely explode.
Number 28
The magnificence of a decades old graffitied desk.
"Every dog has its day"
Social history.
The magnificence of a decades old graffitied desk.
"Every dog has its day"
Social history.
Number 27
The absolute ball-ache of book backing
The absolute ball-ache of book backing
Number 26
The ill-fated hockey experiment.
Worst mistake in the history of the school: let's play hockey like the posh kids. Essentially, weaponising lads with long-standing grudges. Mass brawl and multiple hospitalisations in the very first game. Hockey kit never seen again
The ill-fated hockey experiment.
Worst mistake in the history of the school: let's play hockey like the posh kids. Essentially, weaponising lads with long-standing grudges. Mass brawl and multiple hospitalisations in the very first game. Hockey kit never seen again
Number 25
The age of protest. We talked about it. The lasses did it
The age of protest. We talked about it. The lasses did it
Number 24
Borrowing a school recorder.
Initial reassuring whiff of Dettol, followed by the horror of discovering a small reservoir of collective spittle in the head.
Borrowing a school recorder.
Initial reassuring whiff of Dettol, followed by the horror of discovering a small reservoir of collective spittle in the head.
Number 23
The vault box. Nobody had got a clue what to do with it. Used exclusively for sitting on at school discos or hiding in.
Teachers appeared to be flummoxed as well: "Go go over it in an interesting manner".
The vault box. Nobody had got a clue what to do with it. Used exclusively for sitting on at school discos or hiding in.
Teachers appeared to be flummoxed as well: "Go go over it in an interesting manner".
Number 22
Getting vaccinated.
Getting vaccinated.
Number 21
The school cross country run. Staggering levels of cheating. One 'winner' got his brother to take him half way round on his Honda 50. Regularly got attacked with catapult wielding maniacs as well.
The school cross country run. Staggering levels of cheating. One 'winner' got his brother to take him half way round on his Honda 50. Regularly got attacked with catapult wielding maniacs as well.
Number 20
The canvas school bag
The canvas school bag
Number 19
Menu: Mince, Cabbage, Potatoes, Semolina, Pears.
Often on the same plate.
Menu: Mince, Cabbage, Potatoes, Semolina, Pears.
Often on the same plate.
Number 18
The school geometry set. With sinister compass and an even worse double pointy thing.
The school geometry set. With sinister compass and an even worse double pointy thing.
No 17
The School Trip
Went to an airport. None of us had even seen let alone been on a plane. No money for the observation deck, so we had to watch the planes form the car park. Brilliant day. Came home with dreams of being a pilot/air hostess. Or in one case, a coach driver
The School Trip
Went to an airport. None of us had even seen let alone been on a plane. No money for the observation deck, so we had to watch the planes form the car park. Brilliant day. Came home with dreams of being a pilot/air hostess. Or in one case, a coach driver
Number 16
Getting nits.
'They only like clean hair'.
Getting nits.
'They only like clean hair'.
Number 15
The school bell.
Could be heard from outer space.
The school bell.
Could be heard from outer space.
Number 14
Your dog following you to school
Your dog following you to school
Number 13
Making paper chain Christmas decorations
Making paper chain Christmas decorations
Number 12
Sandpit tension.
Lad in the middle with the hammer looks like he's gonna blow. But those are not the shoes of a hard man.
Sandpit tension.
Lad in the middle with the hammer looks like he's gonna blow. But those are not the shoes of a hard man.
Number 11
The school Bible with the utterly terrifying picture of the devil in it.
The school Bible with the utterly terrifying picture of the devil in it.
Number 10
6th formers. No uniform. Strange and wonderful albums under their arms.
6th formers. No uniform. Strange and wonderful albums under their arms.
Number 9
Old school desks with inkwells. In a new 70's school. The Head explained: 'There's a good reason for that: the Local Education Authority are all Communists'.
Old school desks with inkwells. In a new 70's school. The Head explained: 'There's a good reason for that: the Local Education Authority are all Communists'.
Number 8
The Trainee Teacher *sigh*
The Trainee Teacher *sigh*
Number 7
A kid with a pot on at school after falling off the Witches Hat.
A kid with a pot on at school after falling off the Witches Hat.
Number 6
An abacus in every classroom
An abacus in every classroom
Number 5
Getting your head stuck in the school railings.
Ears soaped. Then the fire brigade,
Getting your head stuck in the school railings.
Ears soaped. Then the fire brigade,
Number 4
You best friend emigrating with his family, never to be seen again.
You best friend emigrating with his family, never to be seen again.
Number 3
The Video.
The technician had to go on a course to operate it.
Two strong lads needed to wheel it into the classroom.
'Tracking' was always an issue.
Ended up under armed guard as within a week, most of Airdrie had cleared a spot for it in their front rooms.
The Video.
The technician had to go on a course to operate it.
Two strong lads needed to wheel it into the classroom.
'Tracking' was always an issue.
Ended up under armed guard as within a week, most of Airdrie had cleared a spot for it in their front rooms.
Number 2
Diving for a rubber brick in your nylon pyjamas.
Then inflating your pyjama bottoms to make a buoyancy aid.
Never quite getting the smell of chlorine out of them.
Diving for a rubber brick in your nylon pyjamas.
Then inflating your pyjama bottoms to make a buoyancy aid.
Never quite getting the smell of chlorine out of them.
Number 1
Our Ma
We got caned, suspended & made to wear a ribbon for refusing to cut our hair. Our Ma worked in the school kitchen. She thinned our hair with a Trimcomb (nothing off the length) & silently served it to the Head on a plate when he passed through the servery.
Our Ma
We got caned, suspended & made to wear a ribbon for refusing to cut our hair. Our Ma worked in the school kitchen. She thinned our hair with a Trimcomb (nothing off the length) & silently served it to the Head on a plate when he passed through the servery.
All the dinner ladies threatened to go on strike if any action was taken against her. None was.
