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Since the pandemic struck I have been WfH. I cannot describe the sheer relief of knowing I do not have to be on guard every time I wait for a bus in the evening, or be mindful of my surroundings when walking home. https://twitter.com/Rybena_/status/1329195106579189761
The men who start a conversation at a bus stop+say they will get on “whichever is your bus” which means ye have to quickly change routes, the routine of pretending to be on the phone, having to ask if someone can collect ye b/c of feeling uncomfortable on the bus -
- the random man in Belfast who kept driving behind me before pulling ahead and asking if I wanted a lift (!!), the man who thought it was hilarious to drive alongside me as I walked home and shout sexual obscenities at me -
- the time when I felt I was being followed around a shop, feeling utterly paranoid and panicked until I confronted the man who proceeded to laugh and say how he thought it was funny and “it’s only a joke”
- the fellas on a bus who took a photograph of me (I could see them try to subtly position the phone and heard the click) and when I asked them what they were doing, shrugged and grinned so I got off the bus early and was in tears walking home
- oh yes, shoutout to the fella who pretended the stopping of the bus caused him to bang into me and settle his hands on my hips as we stood on a packed first floor, hope ye enjoyed the elbow I directed your way
- the fellas sitting around me who deliberately put on a (violent) porn video and played it at full volume to see what my reaction and reaction of the other woman beside us would be, one of whom loudly declared how much he enjoyed watching it and making women “his bitches”
- the schoolboys (I would say they were around 11/12) at a bus stop who kept sneaking behind women to touch their lower backs to see if they could feel their bra straps; I confronted them and they proceeded to shout abuse at me as other folx ignored the scenes
Oh, the time one summer when I was wearing a maxi dress and sat down beside a man, who proceeded to say he was helping me gather the dress together but his hands rested on my legs for just too long (I moved seats as soon as another one came free)
The man who got on the bus, and was clearly drunk. He sat down beside me at the back, leant heavily against me, and kept asking me personal questions including where I was going, where I lived, did I have a boyfriend, was I “popular” with the boys -
- on and on it went, including him talking about what he found sexy in women. I was so uncomfortable and felt he was nearly sitting on me. I was saved by an older woman, who pretended she was a family friend, and waved me over to sit beside her.
This *happens*. And it happens to women all the damn time on public transport incl whilst waiting for public transport and walking home. I hate being made to feel uncomfortable, so small, something to play with+I hate how for some this is all just “fun and games” or I’m being OTT
I’ve lost followers since starting this thread and, sorry if ye followed for parliamentary shenanigans and Res Dogs gifs but sometimes thoughts are burning in your mind and ye need to let them out!!
Or last year, after leaving uni and walking into the city centre, I was standing at a bus stop with a few others in the evening. It was dark, I was wearing a leather jacket, standing with my back to the shop facing the bus stop.
I caught the eye of an older man facing me, and did that awkward small polite smile of acknowledgement. After a pause he told me I looked good in my jacket, and after another pause - "bet ye would look good out of it".
He then asked me what bus was I getting on, because he would like to "continue chatting".
I swiftly moved to another stop. A conductor came by, and I literally begged him to stand nearby me which he did. Older Man at one point looked over and stayed where he was.
I swiftly moved to another stop. A conductor came by, and I literally begged him to stand nearby me which he did. Older Man at one point looked over and stayed where he was.
I am genuinely pleading with ye to call out creepy behaviour if ye see it. Your friends, colleagues after a night out, strangers in the street - call it out. Women should not be rendered into a state of anxiety walking home or made to feel deeply uncomfortable on public transport
One of the most striking recollections I have of these experiences has been fellow passengers/aspiring travellers ignore clear and obvious harassment.
The incident w/the deliberate playing of a violent porn video? Nearby passengers just sighed at the noise+put headphones in. The schoolboys? Some tutted, some sighed, a man glanced at them, but I was the only one who called them out-and no one said a thing when they turned on me
We carry our fear. It hangs heavy on us, invisible to your eyes but thick on our skin.
We carry our fear like we carry keys between our fingers and phones in our pockets, and we do this daily.
We carry our fear like we carry keys between our fingers and phones in our pockets, and we do this daily.
We carry our fear, our anxiety, our neck-turning and fake smiles so we don’t make creeps mad - and we’re angry about it.
The very least ye can do is call the damn behaviour out.
The very least ye can do is call the damn behaviour out.
