ok, my one important lesson from that "writing tips" thread I was gonna fact-check:

the term "fetishizing abuse" is a TERF dogwhistle. If you see it or someone brings it up in conversation to you, just... use your sharpest and most careful critical thinking, ok?

It's one of those terms that doesn't really mean anything, except what the person using it wants it to mean. It's just Empty Sensationalism designed to make you reflexively go, "Oh! Yes that's bad, we shouldn't do that!" without looking at the ACTUAL THING THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT

The term almost always gets thrown around when the person using it is attempting to move the goalposts on you or gaslight you, or as the opening salvo of an ad hominem attack ("If you ship [character A/character B] you're fetishizing abuse! You're probably an abuser too!")

Sometimes you will see "glorifying abuse" or "romanticizing abuse" too -- these are all the same as the previous one. Like I said before, it doesn't mean anything, it just Sounds Like A Scary Bad Thing and puts you on the defensive ("What?! No i'm not!")

Like, you remember how people used to say stuff like, "Oooh video games are BAD because they glorify violence, we should ban them"? Remember how that turned out to be just a nonsense empty argument for proto-fascism?? same thing is same!!!