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I suddenly got into a very angry mood due to various factors, so I think I can finally make that thread I promised a few months back. The one about a person named Pyra and how their lingering presence ruined a lot of things for me.
(TW - Emotional manipulation, depression)
(TW - Emotional manipulation, depression)
I don't really remember when we first met, but I think it was before 3.3 at least. Halfway through 3.2, probably? I remember that he joined my old FC back during Little Ladies 2016.
We mainly just talked casually in the FC chat, but after a while we really hit things off. I still thank him for making me brave enough to join voicechats, be it on PSN or Skype. (I didn't use Discord back then.)
Ultimately when he left the FC, I decided to join him to Breaking Sky where I have been ever since. But I definitely noticed now in hindsight the fact that he clearly had some issues.
For context - My departure from Aftermath (my old FC's name) was not a great one. The leader of the FC who I had gotten really close to was furious and blamed Pyra for basically taking me with him. I can't say I blame him for thinking so.
So when I joined Breaking Sky immediately afterwards I was... exhausted. I was tired, stressed, I remember shaking so hard that my body was entirely cold and I was about to cry. But instead of helping me by trying to take my mind off of it, he just... logged out.
He also decided to take a break around that time as, to quote him - "The game wasn't fun at the moment." Pyra would also constantly negatively compare it to FFXI, which held no merit for me because I wasn't able to play that game.
Thankfully I remember that Kaylie walked up to me in the FC mansion and asked if I wanted the tour of the facilities. That made me feel a bit better.
Anyway, back to Pyra. Even if we took breaks from FFXIV we would often find other games to play together - I had introduced him to Bloodborne and gotten him to play Dark Souls 3 by association, for example. It was thanks to him guiding me somewhat that I got 100% on the former.
He had also introduced me to the general workings of AST, which kinda cemented the fact that I would wind up maining the job for the rest of Heavensward up until 4.55.
... Unfortunately, it also had the negative side effect of him treating me as a pocket healer.
... Unfortunately, it also had the negative side effect of him treating me as a pocket healer.
As time moved on, we even decided to do the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding as a kind of way of making things a bit easier + I had never done it before. I still have the dress, but not the ring.
As time slowly kept moving forward however, I was growing increasingly impatient and disappointed with some of his actions and habits. He would always have a tendency of shit-talking other players on Skype, and had a tendency of being angry easily.
He was one of those people who basically had the "My way or the wrong way" approach to the game, and it slowly started seeping into pretty much everything. I would start to make excuses just so I could skip one day of not talking to him.
Right when we first started talking to each other I opened up and told about my experiences with Lova - how her harsh treatment of me resulted in me having a hard time trusting people and how it led to me having severe depression and PTSD.
I guess I expected him to have some form of boundaries as a result, but he didn't. He was incredibly clingy and would either guilt-trip me into joining him for things even if I really didn't want to, or freely invite himself even when I said "no."
He was also very much a hypocrite in that regard. I vividly remember him stating that us two would do a set number of A9S runs for the condensation step of the Anima weapon... only to then do it by himself during a bonus window even if I wasn't at home.
Fast-forward to Stormblood early access in 2017 - Pyra had already a bit of irl struggles at the time due to his mother having recently had surgery. But that made him immensely more irate towards everyone and everything.
This, combined with that he straight-up told me on a Skype call that he only really cared about me and Kaylie were the final nails in the coffin for me. When people finally started calling him out on his behaviour I silently took their side.
He got kicked from the FC and vented at me that he considered a server transfer. All I could respond with was "Fair enough". But he still stayed on Shiva for a bit.
During the last stretch of the MSQ in the Lochs he was constantly trying to reach out to me, only for me to snap and go "I'm not in the fucking mood and I'm busy." I didn't even ask him to join me for the Royal Menagerie when I had to do it for the story.
There was a reason for this though - Right before he got kicked, he had called EVERYBODY "backstabbers" and then echoed this sentiment to me on Facebook. I was disgusted.
Immediately afterwards he would slowly start to try and turn me against everybody.
Immediately afterwards he would slowly start to try and turn me against everybody.
It obviously didn't work. After a few days of silence as I was leveling Red Mage, I finally snapped and told him that his recent attitude and behaviour had crossed one too many lines, and that I couldn't forgive him for making Kaylie cry.
His last words to me as I was removed from our shared private estate and kicked from a mutual linkshell was "I'm sick of being your personal punching bag." I guess that was to try and have the last laugh.
A few days later and he was entirely gone from Shiva.
A few days later and he was entirely gone from Shiva.
While I have thankfully moved on from this whole ordeal, there are times when I wish things could've been different. But at the same time I'm glad I was able to actually stand up for myself and for others. I was tired of being his "doll", so to speak.
So... yeah. That was who Pyra Fireheart was to me. One of the first friends I ever made, but circumstances made me cut all ties with him in disgust.
End of thread.
