I'm not going to go into details, but I want to reiterate -

BORING SECURITY IS STILL IMPORTANT SECURITY.

Please. Help me from going grey even faster than I already am.

Don't put service accounts in highly privileged groups.

Don't let all users have local admin rights in your organisation.

Know where your logs are going!

Simple. Basic. (Relatively) Easy.

Please. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!

I gave a talk about all this shit SIX FUCKING YEARS AGO!

There is no freakin' excuse. NONE. If you have an excuse, you've made it up and it's shit.

This stuff should have been fixed - SO FIX IT. PLEASE!