boyfriend & i are starting our first play-through of the last of us and i am so excited.

wait......this starts with a pandemic?

IS THIS GAME SCARY???? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR SCARY

oh no their neighbors are sick?

NO THEIR NEIGHBOR WTF IS THIS A ZOMBIE GAME WTF NO

I HATE ZOMBIES SO MUCH THOSE ARE THE ONE KIND OF BOOKS I WON’T READ THEY TERRIFY ME

his daughter’s leg is broken this can’t be good

SHE DIES?????????????????

EVERYONE IS ASKING WHAT I THOUGHT THIS GAME WAS AND I KNEW LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT IT ALL I KNEW WAS SOME OLD GUY ADOPTS A LITTLE GIRL AND THEY GOT ON AN ADVENTURE OR SOMETHING?????? EVERYONE SAID THE STORY WAS GOOD OK I TRUSTED TWITTER AND THIS IS WHAT I GET

20 YEARS LATER??????????

his girlfriend could kick my ass. i like her.

why are you going underground please don’t go underground i am so stressed why does joel have a gun where are you guys going

Aw it’s so pretty outside. She’s going to die isn’t she.

.....spores? like from mushrooms?

NOT MUSHROOMS. NOT MUSHROOMS

my boyfriend, calmly: this looks like a bad idea

my boyfriend has taken to calling joel’s girlfriend the hulk bc she has superhuman strength. every time she picks up something insanely heavy we both just burst out laughing lol

ok the outside is very pretty but i am not over the FUCKING SPORES??????????????

ok now that my heart rate has returned to normal i want you guys to know when his neighbor crashes into the glass window i GASPED and jumped back so hard i almost knocked my phone off rhe couch and my boyfriend just keeps MAKING FUN OF ME

SHE SHOT HIM??? ROBERT IS NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY

me: jesus. tess is a badass. she keeps killing people

my boyfriend, defensively: i’ve been killing people too!

me: you keep almost dying and tess has to heal you. i’m pretty sure this is the tutorial part of the game.

bf: hey, hey. easy.

boyfriend is currently sneaking around singing “tess give me health please” when she inevitably bites it we are so fucked

tess: we should have brought more people

joel: they’d only slow us down

boyfriend: i don’t know if that’s true i think we could have used the help

ROBERT LOOKS LIKE BRONN FROM GAME OF THRONES??????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

we died lol

bye bronn

ok the beginning was stressful but good this part is kind of boring ajsjdjwkzkw i don’t care about ur dumb guns

boyfriend: this is what right wingers think covid is.

TINY GIRL WITH A KNIFE TINY GIRL WITH A KNIFE

marlene; you stay with joel

ellie: NO

my boyfriend: let’s be honest, you’d be a lot safer with tess.

ellie: your watch is broken

me:

okay based on the setup and ellie being so innocent my guess is she’s immune somehow?

O SHIT THEY GOT CAUGHT

ELLIE FUCKING STABBED HIM ZBSUSJAMZNAKS

THAT’S MY GIRL

me: they’re scanning them. i bet she’s positive but she’s immune

bf: no she’s sick

me:

ellie: i am immune

bf:

writers ruin everything lol

boyfriend: can tess die already

boyfriend, two seconds later: actually that’s not true i need her to save me every time we’re in trouble

oh wow the overgrown ruins of downtown are actually really pretty. i like all the plants

oh good a dead body glued to a door. from a...monster thingy that sees using sound. great

AAAAA ONE OF THEM WAS ALIVE THANK YOU TESS I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY GONNA DIE AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS WE’RE SCREWED

i have gasped and leaped out of my skin at every jump scare and my boyfriend will not stop making fun of me

okay can someone explain to me wtf is going on with the clicky bois? did they used to be people???

ok we have died like three times in the past minute lol

oh my god the underground filled with all the clickers is absolutely horrifying and wE DONT HAVE SHIV WTF ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO LOL

oh an old museum ! how cool! it’s kind of pretty tbh

GOD DAMN IT

this is going to give me so many nightmares