honestly the current discourse really grinds my gears about abuse & forgiveness

I’m the first to admit that I used to be a Terrible Fucking Person and although I went to therapy for years and acknowledge said Toxic Behavior? The people I’ve hurt are NOT required to forgive me!

The same goes with people whose “difference in political opinion” were literally denying LGBT, BIPOC, and other minorities the right to exist as themselves. No one is obligated to forgive someone who treated them as less than human or wanted to deny/limit human rights

Would it be nice if abusers, bigots, etc admitted their wrongdoings and tried to be better people? Yes! Absolutely! Are the people they’ve hurt required to forgive them? No! At the most, they’re not legally allowed to harm them back, but jfc they’re not obligated to reach out

My personal policy is this: I wish you wisdom and compassion to know better in the future, and to not be cruel to others going forward. But I want nothing to do with you. Let me go in peace and I’ll let you go in peace. You go your way, I go mine

And if these people do the same toxic things they did in the past, they will be held accountable regardless of forgiveness in the present. Accountability doesn’t just go away if you’re forgiven or not. You still have to show up to these life lessons and be better regardless

Same thing with me. I am to be held accountable for anything I’ve ever done that harmed other people. I am to live up to what I learned in therapy and I am to practice that ish every single day until I die. But NO ONE has to forgive me. Ever.

So, enough. Minorities who are harmed by policies that literally strip away their basic human rights aren’t obligated to forgive or talk with the people who CONTINUOUSLY VOTE AGAINST THEM and will likely continue to do so. We aren’t obligated to comfort them.