Honestly I guess this is a good time to talk about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person of color... Where to even start... Lets start from the beginning I guess. Story time with grandpaw Zeon:

I had the typical Black Family as some fellow black folk would say. When it came to the mannerisms of my household the idea of control was the most important to them. As was a thing caused by Christianity. Fear = Respect. Mental health = demons. ect. LGBTQ+ = ungodly/sin

So I had the family of black christians who only had christianity because it was forced upon them in the times of slavery. I am a descendant of human trafficked Africans so I'm told, which checks out! wanna know why? I'll tell ya! I have 0 recordable family history. 0.

Not even my grandfather on my mom's side's birth certificate is on record. We have 0 idea how old he is, for all we know his name is fake too. We don't know.
Not only that, but I HAVe attempted those like "ancestory dot com" type beats and got nothing. 0 traceable family tree.

So what are we gonna do when the only constant in life is Christianity and being oppressed for being black?
Christianity for my family became the go to. The end all be all of everything and anything for the tree that had to claw itself out of poverty or die.

And guess what type of Christianity my family came from growin up... both are from the south originally iirc.
COGIC and Baptist.
Family used the bible to say "well we can't like those LGBTQ+" cause thats the religion they have, only one they have.

Here is an interesting little thing tho, that I find sorta juicy.
My mom's side is the worst type when it comes to LGBTQ+ but they also were raised in a SMALL small town, while my dad was raised in LA and isn't as bad.
So that could have something to do with the rest.

But lets fast foward to how my parents were raised.
Mom was raised to be the "good Christian black lady" thats all she had, all she was raised on. Make up, dresses, skirts, ect. whole shabang.
"Never talk back to parents or have your own thoughts that aren't bible like" n shet

Meanwhile my DAD tho, my dad was raised without the idea of mental health, the idea of authority being what parent's jobs were. That type of thing. My dad's mom was (or still might be idk) Baptist and compared to my mom was far less like... "I'll beat this bible shet into u" type

But still had that underlying "LGBTQ+ bad" type thing but not as heavily done as well. more like "You'll go to hell n shet but like repent is good"
Thats the type beat i think he had based on how he is now. but this is where the lack of resources comes in.

Until I finally forced my parents to realize that mental illness was both not demons and also a legitimate thing, they had the whole "mental illness isn't real cause God" mentality n boy howdy is it poison. Mix that with the LGBTQ+ being sin thing and oof.

My parents had a L O T of trauma. Both black trauma, poverty caused trauma, religious trauma, and their parents ALSO had that trauma, and their parent's parents, and ect.
Its a cycle it is a bad bad cycle. And the crazy thing is in this case NONE OF IT IS THEIR FAULT.

I can travel as far up the tree as I want but as the chain goes on and on, legit 0 of it I can put blame on anyone in my invisible family tree. And I feel like they know that a little too cause they are HUGE into black rights and such cause like. its all fvcked.