Series Pitch: Most Likely Kill You In The Morning

Princess Bride series focusing on many escapades of The Dread Pirate Roberts. The main character switches out each season.

Each season had a new ensemble cast. Sometimes they sneak back into the crew or cameo.

The first mate is the only cast member who remains throughout.

Each episode starts with a different actor each season walking in and sitting down at your bedside, licking their finger, opening a book and reading out the intro to you in first person. They intercut now and again with comments.

"Chapter One: The Four Seas of Landscaping ."

Each episode should have at least one sword fight conversation/battle of wits.

Each episode should feature one thing you classed as a "one of the great classic blunders".

Everyone talks like they are playing poker.

The first Dread Pirate Roberts we follow is Inigo Montoya, close to retirement, handing over to the new Dread Pirate Roberts.

All the monsters are obviously men in suits or puppets.

Look, I am just saying I should be headhunted to develop shows.

Oh and you better believe I would bring back Buttercup as a queen.

The first reader should be Fred Savage.

McKenzie Davis as Buttercup and Westley's Robin Hood esque daughter Petal, trying to convince Inigo to let her be the next DPR against her parents wishes.

Allison Janney as the villainous Gilder Admiral Mootz.

Petal ends up falling in love with Inigo's daughter Venganza.

Inigo: no, no, no I cham not against it. I just...

Venganza: what, father?

Inigo: two girls? Chow does that chwork exact-a-ly?

*genuinely confused, he makes shapes with his hands trying to work it out. Venganza watches. Beat. He gives up and shrugs.

And yes, Venganza and Petal have a sword fight ending up with one having the blade to the other's throat whilst they stare into each others eyes.

Inigo sitting at a candle lit desk.
Inigo (V.O)
Captain's Log. November the...

(Inigo stops, scrunches his forehead and holds up his hand, counts off, seemingly going a complex equation on an invisible chalk board... it takes a little while and then nods confidently )

...First.

MOOTZ: dont you miss the grand old days?

CUTHBERT: Grand old days m'lady?

MOOTZ: you know... meering your enemy on the fo'c'sle, watching the surprised look on their blood shot eyes as you part their belly with a blade and hear it all... slop out?

CUTHBERT: oh, those ones.

MOOTZ: I miss them, Cuthbert. Every spatter of entrail on the mizen... the way your boots sort of slip around in all the groo after a good boarding.
Heady days, unforgettable.

CUTHBERT: unforgettable. indeed.

MOOTZ: now? The freebooters get all the fun.

Oh no, Mootz is on a personal mission to not only stop that pesky Dread Pirate Roberts... but NOT stop him because she doesn't want to go back to pushing paper.

MOOTZ *riposte, then parry* you know, for a hundred and five you look good for you age.

INIGO: *parrying a lunge* thank you. I moisturize.

Haha! Timely.

Miracle Max wouldn't need so much makeup this time around. ;)

Welp, I am not currently a series developer, so maybe you can donate a coffee to me in the meantime to stop me feeling *mostly* dead. http://Www.ko-fi.com/dellak 

Venganza: I have been seeking you my whole life. Mother said my father was a man with a scar on each cheek, and a ship on his shoulder.

Inigo: I think you misheard that last part. Are you sure you're my daughter?

Venganza: I have come to kill you.

Inigo: You're my daughter.

Petal: aha! The boot is upon the other foot!

Veganza: isn't that uncomfortable?

Petal: no, like, they kick us with the boot, but now we have the boot so... we have it our foot... so we can kick them. With the boot.

Veganza: what happened to the other boot?

Petal: focus.

Gillian Anderson as The Queen Of Florin