TW ANXIETY
I've been severely anxious lately. I think extensively about my body of work and my social media presence, and fear death of my mother, & surprisingly my own after years of feeling suicidal. now I just shiver thinking about the time I'll just die & how I don't want to.

please help, in any way you can
maybe recommend an affordable good therapist

I literally shiver, lose out on my breath, my body gets all warmed up, and I cry all the time.
I've been off my medications because it made me gain weight & leaving me w self image issues.
I'm off therapy because my last therapist wasn't that good, expensive + I'm tired repeating