I Squint My Eyes

I squint my eyes
to look at life
for a kind of –
kinder truth-telling
(slant-telling)
A sort of –
Sneaking up –
To catch it
Unaware –
Or sleeping –
Clipping its toenails –
Standing with Oscar –
Or lying with –
That gutter –
Those stars.

I squint my eyes
to look at life –
now –
I have lost
that recklessness
that I thought
was mine by right –
I have lost the daring –
That dared me –
Said –
Look at this thing
Look at it!
Straight.

I must squint my eyes
To look at life –
I creep on stockinged feet  –
I peer around corners  –
Through holes in the wall
From way over there –
From the roof of a building –
From a car speeding –
Along a lonely country road -
From a boat sailing by –
From the rocking carriage –
Of a Ferris wheel –
From the spaces
Between my fingers.

I squint my eyes –
To look at life –
For a kind of –
Kinder truth-telling
(Slant-telling)
Sneaking up –
Catching it –
Unaware –
And peer –
With longing –
Through metaphor’s glass –
The one that’s got me trapped –
Now –
Always –
And where I struggle like the fly
Stuck in Yeats’ Marmalade

All around me –
Freedom –
All around me –
Life –
All around me –
Sky endless sky
Endlessly being –
Sky –
All around me space –
Freedom –
Light –
All around me –
And the possibility of flight –
I have eyes –
I have wings –
I could fly –

If only I could look –
With eyes open wide –
If only I could find –
A different metaphor –
A different poem –
A different poet –
A different view –
A different pair of wings –
A different heart –
A different place to lie –
The approach is the thing –
For the stars are always stars –
The sky will be sky for as long as –
There is sky –
And I – if I – could but –
Look. See. Then maybe –

Find my way -
Out.
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