so, i'm cleaning up the literal days of dirty dishes and candy wrappers and pop cans laying around my house. it's like cleaning up stress. unlocking the joints, ungluing the shoulders.

i'm just thinking about a moment i shared with a former trump supporter. they are a family member. they saw this picture while i was with them.

that child looks almost exactly like my own daughter. i didn't talk about it a lot back when it came out, but i saw that picture and it took my breath away. i can hardly even now look at it without sobbing. that's my daughter there, just as surely as it is the other womans baby.

my former trump supporting relative saw that picture and recognized their beloved family member in that girl too. and my relative cried too. later on at my daughter's graduation, i had a picture of her when she was little like the baby in that picture-

and my family member stood and openly weeped at my daughter's graduation. a dear friend took a picture of the two of us talking about it. my family member kept saying, she looks just like that little girl at the border. she looks just like her.

my family member and i talked and cried and hugged my dear confused daughter, who didn't realize we were sending those hugs to the baby at the border through her.

and things changed. that trump supporter changed. that trump supporter is one of the most vocal outgoing biden supporters now. we talk all the time about how to be a christian and democrat at the same time. bcz they'd been told that was impossible.

the impossible happened. the world turned upside down. in many ways. i am that person that confused former right wing people come to about god. ms. buddhist somewhat atheist definitely NOT CHRISTIAN is translator for god.

the impossible can happen. miracles can happen. but that means holding firm in your truth, not trading your truth away for votes. it took almost two decades of committed relationship with my family member. it took being there when they finally got it.

i'm not doing that with everybody. i'm not doing that with most people.

and that makes me holding on to my truth all the more necessary. bcz i'm not going to do that kind of work with most people--the majority of people i work with (the christian interpreter people, for example)-i hold onto my truth, fiercely.

bcz they're trying, even in their confusion, to convince me that i am wrong. i don't argue. i don't need to. i know my truth.

this has saved my sanity more than once. is there a place for tactical alignment? no? then there's no need to even 'go there.' https://twitter.com/MsKellyMHayes/status/1325515075432697857

when i say that white people don't get to walk away from other white people. i don't mean that white people can have no boundaries and that they must flagellate themselves to any white supremacist in order to hopefully get a vote.

i mean this thread. pick who you will be in a committed relationship with. decide what your boundaries are. hold onto your truths. and then do the work. for the rest of your life, do the work.

and yes, i mean the rest of your life. join the reality that for people of color--for black people and indigenous people esp. they've been doing this work for *centuries*. they've been *working* for *centuries*.

there will never be a V for Vendetta moment when the entire thing blows up and we're all saved. there is only the generational ongoing flux of life. sometimes things will be very good. sometimes they'll be very bad.

decide how you want to be in this world. and then hold onto that.