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Dear America (the non-racist half):
As a trauma survivor I wanted to remind us that we don’t owe kindness, grace, conversation, understanding or respect to abusers. It is not our job to rebuild bridges others burnt.
Saving the souls of abusers is not the victim’s responsibility
As a trauma survivor I wanted to remind us that we don’t owe kindness, grace, conversation, understanding or respect to abusers. It is not our job to rebuild bridges others burnt.
Saving the souls of abusers is not the victim’s responsibility
It is not to us to placate the half of the country that hates all that isn’t white, cis, male, hetero, protestant, English speaking and able-bodied.
Our primary responsibility is to ourselves - securing our health, safety & freedom.
Our primary responsibility is to ourselves - securing our health, safety & freedom.
We, as victims of trauma, having begun the work to save ourselves, do not need to prove our goodness by doubling back to rescue the ones who burned themselves while attempting to torch us.
To suggest that *we* must now “set aside our differences and come together” asks too much.
To suggest that *we* must now “set aside our differences and come together” asks too much.
Abusers often will only concede and apologize with condition. They invalidate the harms we have suffered at their hands. They label us as hypersensitive or unkind & cloak this invalidation in “concern” for our well-being.
Abusers manipulate language. They will try to convince us that “diversity & inclusion” should hold space for the perspective of neonazi xenophobes. They will hurl “socialist” & “progressive” at us with the same vitriolic emphasis we use to label racists & misogynists.
Don’t let these politicians & talking heads gaslight us. If we must come together, then it is up to the other half to meet us with apology and reconciliation on our terms. Until they are ready to catch up we have to keep moving forward without them.
Sorry, not sorry.
Sorry, not sorry.
