as with all relationships, there's what they call a "honeymoon phase." they say when a relationship has aged and has gone past the honeymoon stage, that's when you'll know if it's meant to last.

being with eijun, life was always happy and soft.
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it was like constantly being under the rays of the sun in spring--never too hot, and just the right light not to blind you.

but too much sunlight was bad for you, wasn't it? it's why aunties told you to put on sunblock even if it wasn't noontime anymore.
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it was why they said to bundle up and protect your skin, even if it made you all hot and sweaty and icky.

the days of spring sun have passed on; now, it's summer, and it feels like it's been summer for way too long. every little thing that once made you smile
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were now what made you tick. what made you soft, hardened you instead and either lead to you snapping or pushing eijun away.

you know the honeymoon stage is over. you know this is the real side of eijun, and you, as his best friend,
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his "harucchi," knew this better than anyone that eijun never means harm.

if that was the real eijun, does this mean this was the real you? does this mean you two weren't meant to be? should you have lathered on more sunscreen the way your aunties told you to as a kid?
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or should you have kept bundled up, dressed in layers to keep some distance even when you were together?

you didn't know. but you want out. you want to be away, you want to push and pull away because you don't want this anymore, and at the same time, you don't want this for
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eijun anymore. eijun means no harm, he never did; this was unfair to eijun, to the love between you two. you love him too much to hurt him like this, to turn into someone that he migth not love anymore.

love.

at least that remains constant somehow.
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no matter how much you want to leave, to shield yourself from the now sclading sun, you know there is still love.

you know there is still love in how you willingly choose to bask in the sun, even if you know that sometimes, you burn now when you used to not.

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a part of you is hoping, holding on for a better tomorrow. you're hoping this will pass. that you'll be the "harucchi" eijun knows and loves. a part of you hope this is just puberty blues and that you'll have a healthy relationship with the sun again.
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when eijun smiles at you and tells you he still loves you, even after your outbursts, your untimely anger and unprovoked arguments, you hope, you so desperately hope and wish to feel the sun the way you once did--warm, happy, homey.