Just finished listening to the #KamalaHarris speech. Here is my stream of consciousness thread on what she and what she just said means to me ... as a non-American and someone v. surprised by how invested I have been in the results of the #2020Elections 1/x

This is personal. Not something I have spoken of before. Although it’s perhaps time to do so. I did my masters in History at #JNU - one of #India’s toughest and most prestigious universities. That was an great & not-so-great experience... but that’s another story 2/x

After that I decided to switch streams (a long term ambition) to #InternationalRelations & applied for a MPhil at the School of IR at #JNU. After the anonymised all-India level written exam I was shortlisted for the interview. 4 seats for my chosen stream for ALL of India!! 3/x

The interview panel was mostly a “manel” and consisted of nearly the whole faculty (great for my young nerves)! I answered questions honestly, clearly and the best I could ... I was naively straight-forward & no ass-kisser 4/x

The interview was rounded up by one of the ‘male’ star-professors there who I quote said “Well! After that series of audacious responses ...”. (I quote because I still remember the tone, hostility and words 19 years later). I remember my shock/surprise. 5/x

I remember that sinking feeling as I saw my dreams literally go down the drain. A few days later I walked into the office of one of the few female professors in the department who had been trying to advise me and she sat back in her chair with a big belly laugh 6/x

And after she had finished laughing she told me how I had “scared all the men in that room”. Followed by: “you’re not getting into the program... they failed you!” I remember the waiting till the final results came out. 7/x

That feeling of ‘shit! What do I do next’, That conviction that it is all lost but like a wound you can’t stop picking till you know, till you SEE that said to you officially, on paper ... 8/x

And the scrum at the board where the list was pasted... I wonder how big my eyes were when I saw my name there! Position? All-India first! In short, despite failing the interview my anonymous written exam carried me through ...9/x

And so began my difficult last year at JNU - where the hostility of the staff essentially ensured I decided to leave the MPhil mid-way and begin a doctorate at the #LSE - which was a wonderful refreshing space after #JNU 10/x

But getting back to the point of this thread ... Till I heard #KamalaHarris today, I never realised how scarred I was by those petty male professors and their attitude & words towards me. 11/x

I was v.young & it has taken me 20 years to get the understanding and vocabulary to comprehend what happened. But today, when #KamalaHarris introduced #JoeBiden with the words that he had the “audacity to choose a woman as VP” I realised I still saw “audacity” as a bad word! 12/x