Our statement on today‘s events: “We nutria have learned through official intelligence channels that the humans have appointed a new, more competent Supreme Leader.

“It is clear this is a desperate, last-minute effort to dissuade the nutria from carrying out our long-promised campaign to bring about the Day of Much Dread and Suffering.

“We will not be stopped in this noble endeavor. However, as a gesture of goodwill, we are willing to enter into negotiations that may make the inevitable demise of your species somewhat less painful.

“In order not to compromise these negotiations, no further details will be released. We await a response from Supreme Leader @JoeBiden. Be warned: The clock is ticking, and the hour is nigh.”