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YOU GUYS I JUST WOKE UP FROM THE WEIRDEST DREAM SO SOMEHOW DONALD TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT I KNOW CRAZY RIGHT BUT THEN IT WAS A DISASTER SO WE VOTED HIM OUT AND THEN RUDY GIULIANI (! —DREAM LOGIC AMIRITE) HAD A PRESSER OUTSIDE A PORN STORE (?!) TO SAY THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED
BUT LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED TRUMP WERE SOOOO WEIRD THEY TOOK GUNS EVERYWHERE & LIKE THERE WAS THIS MOSH PIT WITH THESE TRUMP PEOPLE DANCING TO RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE (*I DON’T KNOW, IT WAS A DREAM!!*) & THEY WERE WEARING THESE CRAZY FLAGS LIKE US FLAGS WITH THE WRONG COLORS!!
AND LIKE EVERYBODY EXCEPY THE CRAZY PEOPLE WERE LIKE HOW THE CRAP DID HE BECOME PRESIDENT AND LIKE THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT LIKED HIM WERE MIKE LEE WHO CALLED HIM DAD FOR SOME REASON AND ALSO ALL THESE RANDO CELEBS LIKE KID ROCK AND TED NUGENT AND SCOT BAIO.
AND LIKE TRUMP OBVIOUSLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS DOING SO LIKE HE PUT HIS KIDS IN CHARGE OF RANDO STUFF LIKE HEY SON IN LAW JARED YOU BUSY SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WITH PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EASY AND JARED’S LIKE ON IT BOSS! LIKE, WHUUUT?
AND ONE OF HIS KIDS WENT ON TV TO DEFEND HIS DAD BUT HE WAS ALWAYS BONKERS ON COKE SO IT NEVER MADE ANY SENSE. AND ALL THE CRAZY PEOPLE YELLED YEAH, MURKA! (I FORGOT TO TELL YOU IN MY DREAM IT WAS CALLED MURKA?!!
) BUT THE REST OF US WERE LIKE THAT GUY IS DEF DOING COKE
) BUT THE REST OF US WERE LIKE THAT GUY IS DEF DOING COKE
AND AT ONE POINT A CROWD OF PUERTO RICANS (I LIVED THERE ONCE THAT IS PROLLY WHY IT JUST SHOWED UP IN MY DREAM) WERE YELLING AT HIM LIKE YOU SUCK TRUMP AND SO TO GET THEM TO LIKE HIM TRUMP STARTED THROWING ROLLS OF PAPER TOWELS AT THEM?? AND THEY WERE LIKE THNX I GUESS?!?
OH BUT LIKE HE WAS ALWAYS FREAKING OUT BECAUSE HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING SO HE WOULD WATCH THESE SHOWS ON TV WHERE IT WAS LIKE IT SEEMED THE PEOPLE ON THE SHOWS WERE TALKING TO EVERYBODY BUT THEY WERE ACTUALLY JUST TALKING *ONLY TO HIM * TO MANIPULATE HIM.
AND LIKE HE WOULD CALL ALL THESE RANDOS WORLD LEADERS LIKE “HEY PUTIN I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE PRESIDENT HELP ME OUT” AND PUTIN WAS LIKE OKAY HERE IS WHAT YOU DO BUT IT WAS ALL JUST STUFF PUTIN WANTED HIM TO DO AND TRUMP WAS LIKE OH OKAY AND PUTIN WAS LIKE OMIGOSH YOU ARE SO DUMB
OH AND AT ONE POINT THERE WAS A BIG FOREST FIRE AND TRUMP WAS LIKE YOU SHOULDA RAKED THE FOREST! AND THE SCIENTIST WERE LIKE HUH?! THATS NOT HOW FIRES WORK AND THEN HE WAS LIKE THERE IS A HURRICANE COMING WHY DON’T WE JUST NUKE IT?
LIKE EVERY TIME HE HAD SOME PROBLEM HE’D COME UP WITH SOME CRAZY RANDO WAY TO STOP IT BUT IT WAS ALL BONKERS SO IT NEVER WORKED. HE WAS LIKE BUY GREENLAND! MAKE AN ARMY BUT IN OUTERSPACE! IF YOU GET THE FLU DRINK SOME BLEACH! AND HIS STAFF WERE LIKE NO DONT DO ANY OF THAT!!!!
AND IT JUST GOT CRAZIER AND CRAZIER UNTIL WE WERE LIKE YOU’RE FIRED AND TRUMO WAS LIKE NO WAY I AINT LEAVIN YOU COUNTED WRONG AND THEN RUDY WAS IN THE PARKING LOT OF THAT PORN STORE AND HARDWARE STORE AND HE WAS LIKE THE VOTE WAS RIGGED! AND THEN I WOKE UP.
IT WAS SO WEIRD BUT IT WAS SO VIVID LIKE ALL THESE DETAILS AND EVERYTHING LIKE HE ALWAYS WORE THIS TIE THAT WAS TOO LONG AND HE’D DO THESE AWKWARD DANCES BUT THE CRAZY PEOPLE LOVED IT THEY WOULD SHOW UP FOR THESE BIG RALLIES LIKE THE BEATLES ON ED SULLIVAN
ANYWAY, MORAL OF THE STORY, NO SPICY FOOD AFTER 8PM LOL THAT TACO BOWL WAS A BIIIIG MISTAKE. FALL ASLEEP WITH THAT URPING THROUGH YOUR GUTS AND YOU END UP IN A WEEEEIRD TIMELINE.
