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Biden doesn’t need secret service he has this enormous rescue dog named Major
Look at Major
Major will ask for treats and also fuck you up if you get too close without permission
Major will sit politely for his dinner and also knows exactly where all your major organs are and how to extract them
Major will chase the ball and also hunt you down and decapitate you if you bring up suing Pennsylvania one more time
Major knows where his bed is and also how to assemble a Glock
Major fetches the newspaper in the morning and sorts it into priority order before delivering it because he knows President Biden likes to read the funnies before the sports
See this ball? Major is showing you it’s exactly the size of the heart he’s going to rip out of your chest if you cross him
See this chalk drawing? Major drew it
