if you sensed a disturbance in the Force, that was my mother - who FUCKING HATED THAT SONG - rolling her eyes from Catholic Heaven https://twitter.com/jeffreymarlett/status/1325255855198105601

my mother, dying of ALS: “claire”

me: “yes mom”

mom: “after I die -“

me: *already crying*

mom: “please promise me one thing”

me: *sobbing* “anything you want”

mom: “DO NOT LET THEM PLAY ‘ON EAGLE’S WINGS’ AT MY FUNERAL OR SO HELP ME I WILL HAUNT YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE”

that is not just a real conversation

that is a real conversation we had MORE THAN ONCE

including at least one time AT SOMEONE ELSE’S FUNERAL

WHILE THEY WERE SINGING “ON EAGLE’S WINGS”

she just leaned over and hissed at me “if you let them play this song” “I KNOW, MOTHER”

Post-Vatican II Catholics, drop your favorite banger hymns in the replies

For All the Saints” and “Gather Us In” were STAPLES of my youth, as was scream-singing the refrain of “Lord of the Dance” at school Mass

LIVING for the “On Eagle’s Wings” discourse

HOW DID WE ALL FORGET TO MENTION “ASHES”

a next-level jam you only got ONE DAY A YEAR

also, everyone who knows me knows I loved my mother more than anything in the world BUT ALSO she had absolutely maximum personality so it is not NOT amusing to imagine how she would feel to live on as a colorful side character in my narrative who cannot give notes on her scenes

every time I tell you a story about her just imagine a short woman with a sensible bob in one of those shorts-and-blazer suits from the early 90s interrupting me to say “that is NOT how that happened”

something I apparently need to clarify is that this is not a personal attack on people who have their own emotional attachment to that song or otherwise enjoy it?? it’s just ???? a funny story??? about my dead mother?? are we all on the same page

okay I’m gonna go watch the speeches now but later I might fuck around and make a “Church Bangers” Spotify playlist

also not to be Protestant on main but I can’t believe we failed to discuss how Rich Mullins’ “The Jesus Record” is a perfect album

we’ll circle back to him later

folks, it is with great delight that I inform you that when I finally watched the speech and he quoted “On Eagle’s Wings” I legitimately felt genuine emotion

Joe Biden is exactly that dad in the @mulaney sketch who cannot sing but sings SO LOUD anyway

I find it wildly endearing