i don’t understand this not wanting to end friendships/relationships with trump voters. i’ve ended things over someone telling me they don’t like buffy! it’s like, you will have room for more people. better people. people of taste!!

if it’s family, i sort of can understand better. but still. it’s okay not to have terrible people in your life. or to take a serious break from them! i barely talked to my parents for a year bc of their homophobia. it actually wasn’t that hard and i was happier

there’s like this stigma around not sticking with friends & family even when they’ve proven themselves to be awful. like you’re a bad person for “abandoning” them. but why be around people who constantly make you angry? who make you feel like shit about yourself? no!! step away

loyalty is completely overrated if you’re staying loyal to bigotry and cruelty. you can save your energy and be loyal to other qualities, other people

it’s not “beautiful” to stay friends with someone who “disagrees” and thinks queer people are going to hell. it’s not “being the bigger person” to keep inviting relatives to your home who make “jokes” about immigrants. you are hurting yourself & likely other people in your life

like okay, talk to them about the issues, if you feel it’s necessary, if you think they can be swayed. but i’m saying, if they have shown you who they are, you should believe them. let them educate themselves elsewhere. let them redeem themselves without you

they should prove to you that they can come back into your life and be better. you don’t need to work with them working on themselves. give them resources, sure. but at a certain point, they need to do the goddamn work. and you need a slice of peace!

there’s so much pressure in this culture to repair family relationships and redeem friendships bc you’ve been friends since 3rd grade or whatever. but it’s like, do you even like that person anymore? why not surround yourself with people you like??

maybe call them once a year. but you absolutely don’t need to hang out. stop romanticizing pain in relationships. stop conflating constant argument with “working on things.” you can stop working. you can move away and on

sometimes the best thing you can do for the relationship is to step away. it doesn’t have to be permanently. maybe things will work out eventually. but maybe not & that’s also okay bc you will be happier. you will have time for your hobbies! you will start battlestar galactica!

healing is not repairing relationships with people who are actively cruel to you & those you love. healing is saying “later.” maybe “bye.” and “think about your choices. i’ll be over here, away from you, choosing myself and what actually brings me love and joy”