I was contacted by President Trump’s Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows late Friday night – he was ordered to gather a team of writers to start brainstorming shows for the President’s new network. We were asked to sign an NDA and told we would be compensated handsomely.

We would meet in the morning and told to bring five “huge” ideas. Not told to bring a mask. Meeting was moved to the Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, also Mark Meadows just tested positive for Covid and not responding to my e-mail if this job is WGA.

Corey Lewandoski is now running the meeting, says network is launching on inauguration – they are fast tracking ideas. We were told Donald Jr. would be in the meeting and the President was looking for all kinds of formats.

Bill O’Reilly will host a show from 6am-2pm then he wants cooking ideas for Kristie Alley, a Stephen Baldwin travel show and his version of Hot Ones. One of the writers asked if lunch would be provided and he was immediately asked to leave.

Don Jr. just showed up and has a very Kendall Roy Succession Season 2 vibe. Greeted everyone by saying this network is going to win every Emmy next year and if you aren’t already following him on Instagram please do so now his metrics are all messed up.

We were just told by Lewandoski that Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee was originally President Trump’s idea and not Jerry Seinfeld’s. He is going to file a lawsuit against Seinfeld but just got busy.

We were just given an assignment, bring back the Miss America pageant but only invite contestants from states President Trump won in the election. Don Jr. says may make exceptions for counties he won, but women must be hot- like a Somerset County 7.

Steven Mnuchin just burst in and to stop everything. President Trump wants to host a New Year’s Eve Countdown show from the White House. Wants to embarrass CNN Anderson Cooper & Andy Cohen. Little Pimp will perform. A writer corrected him and said Lil Pump. He was asked to leave.

There is talk to bring back Trump University but not for education only so they can play football in the Big 10 Conference. The President is going to get Urban Meyer to coach the team and we are being told this is already a done deal.

Team just green lit “America’s Next Top Melania”- Lewandoski said there are already many candidates who submitted to be one of the Fake Melanias so casting should be easy.

Stephen Miller is here now just sitting in the corner of the room eating a mayonnaise sandwich staring at everyone not saying a word.

Don Jr. pitched a show with his brother Eric giving hot takes their version of PTI. Saying they will keep the name PTI and make it Pardon Trump Interruption. Writer pointed out the words “Pardon Trump” in the title might not be a good look. He was asked to leave immediately.

This meeting is now going on twelve hours without a break. Just given another assignment for a potential Rudy Giuliani reality dating show apparently this new direction is coming straight from Giuliani. Possible host include Scott Baio and Herschel Walker.