"He died the way he lived." https://twitter.com/Yamiche/status/1325118479989551104

I like to believe that Trump went to play golf today in part because he was convincing himself no one would dare call it while he was still making noise about the courts; if he didn't quite believe it, he acted as though he did, in accordance with his belief in positive thinking.

And that out on the course, isolated from the news and from his aides asking him what to do or telling him what he should do, maybe he began to relax. Maybe he successfully convinced himself that he really did have matters well in hand and things would go his way.

I like to think that Donald Trump found a moment of peace out on the golf course, that he was for a moment... just a moment, happy and hopeful and convinced that everything was right in the universe once more, as he was its center and its master.

I like to think that he had that happiness today, because it will likely be the last happiness he has for a long while. And I don't wish it for him because I think he deserves happiness, but for the opposite reason.

Because if he was happy while he was golfing, if he successfully soothed himself and reassured himself, and meanwhile the world spun on without him and completely out of his control...

Well, he obviously can't trust such happiness anymore, can he?

I like to think that he will never be able to enjoy a quiet round of golf in his life again, because of what was snatched from him, what was taken from him, what was *done to* him the last time he did so.

Think about that: Donald Trump may, today, have ruined one of the great joys of his life for himself, forever.

He's taken a lot of things away from us.

So just for a moment imagine he's done the same thing to himself.

Garrison Keillor wrote a piece about Trump during the 2016 election season called "When This Is Over, You Will Have Nothing That You Want".

I suspect that by next year, it will have went through an uncanny valley version of aging well.

I mean, you're not wrong, but "Trump is constantly miserable and hates being president" always struck me as being up there with "Melania is a hostage." narratives. I think he was frequently miserable; he's a miserable person. https://twitter.com/PossibleCabbage/status/1325286365077106691

The presidency was not what Trump thought it was going to be (he thought it made him Boss of America and he thought the media would fawn over him and obey him, the way he believed they did with President Obama) and he was disappointed and frustrated often, sure.

But it got him attention, which he needs, and adulation, which he needs, and wiggle-room on his debts, which he needs, and immunity from prosecution, which he needs. He got to spend all day watching TV and tweeting and eating whatever he wanted. People called him "sir".

He got to go into very important rooms that almost no one was allowed to go into and he got to watch people on a screen die halfway across the world on his word. I don't know if he could have known he wanted that, but he certainly enjoyed it. Power of life and death.

So when the 2016 election ended, he did get some of the things he wanted, even if they couldn't make him happy for long (again, he's a miserable person), but I Keillor's line seems prophetic when we contemplate his likely paths outside of the White House.

I don't want Trump to have any of the things he wants. I don't want him to know peace or certainty or happiness or joy. I want him to be as miserable as he's ever been, and more, for the rest of his life.

But I'm not cruel. I don't want him to be miserable for long.

When I think about the exact sensation of seeing and smelling a sumptuous banquet with all your favorite foods only to have them turn to ash as soon as they touch your tongue...

That's what I think, when I think about Trump golfing and then finding out he'd lost for real.