Unprotecting my tweets briefly in the hope of attracting the attention of @bt_uk. I’d love to have a day when I don’t spend more than an hour on the phone to @bt_uk. I’ve had no service since October 26. Was sent a replacement router which arrived on Thursday of *this* week ...

... but didn’t work. Cue another two hours on the phone to @bt_uk which got me nowhere. Engineer came out yesterday but said he wasn’t allowed to come in the house because covid. Stopgap 4G gadget was sent to the address I moved out of *twelve years ago*. Another engineer ...

... arrived at 0645 this morning (!) to install some more @bt_uk kit, but couldn’t, because a: I have no broadband service and haven’t had since October 26, b: the bloody kit hadn’t even been sent out to me! Had a call from @bt_uk 1100 today asking how things were going ...

... (crap, thanks for asking). They arranged to send me the kit that should’ve arrived two days ago that the guy who came this morning could’ve installed had anything been working, which it isn’t.

Hope you’re keeping up with all this. There’s LOTS more .....

90mins ago I received an email from @bt_uk saying ‘We need to talk to you about your order’, and giving me a number to call. Called number, waited for 20mins. Got through eventually. Apparently they needed to talk to me about (if you have Nurofen, now would be a good time) ...

... why I haven’t sent back the piece of kit that never arrived, in a returns bag they say they’ve sent which hasn’t arrived either, and hinting I might be charged £30 for not sending something I haven’t got, in a @bt_uk bag I don’t have. Bloke on phone couldn’t answer ...

... any of my by-now NUMEROUS questions, and said he’d put me through to @bt_uk connections department. I then got cut off completely. Before that, though, he said that there was no record of the engineer’s visit that was arranged over the phone last night, that’s due ...

... to happen today 1300-1800. No sign of @bt_uk engineer yet. Apparently they can’t check if he’s not coming until his shift finishes at 1800, by which time it will, of course, be glaringly apparent. Meantime, I’m getting repeated emails and those creepy automated text-to- ...

... voice messages, telling me an engineer is on their way. These messages relate to @bt_uk engineer visits that are now hours in the past. (I’m mentioning @bt_uk a lot to try to get their attention. I’d email ‘em, but I’ve had no @bt_uk broadband service since 26/10.) ...

So, Twitter chums, I have two questions.

1: expressed as a percentage, how likely do you think it is that the @bt_uk engineer visit I’ve been promised for today will actually happen?

...

2: which *other* companies provide fast, reliable #broadband (and maybe TV) and *can* tell Shinola from another substance now synonymous with @bt_uk’s level of customer service?

#TOHOD #FFS

I’m sure the latest developments in the @bt_uk thread will come as no surprise, but for the record:

The engineer booked for this afternoon never turned up.

The check call promised for this evening never happened.

No reply when I called because lines close at 8pm.

FFS, @bt_uk

OK, I’m boring myself with this now so I won’t add further to your ennui. However, I’ll end by sharing this, an email which arrived after 10pm last night, in which @bt_uk attempt to make Kafka look like he wasn’t really trying: