to be desired is one thing.
to be valued is another.

the past few years have come with a lot of lessons surrounding this. i found thrill in being desired. now i’m bored with that. yes, it’s nice to be wanted but i’m currently wanting more sustainable connections based on more than physical attraction and lust.

i’ve had a lot of sex. like a lot. and if i never had sex again in this lifetime i would be pleased with my experiences (lol but i’m not a nun and i’m fna pop this thang until i kick the bucket). i’m just entering a new phase of wanting more.

i can make myself cum, i can affirm and romance myself, i can do all the things, so what can you do for me? what can you add to my life that’s not already there bc i’m not easily impressed.

it’s big “if this ain’t what you want, then get the hell away from me” energy right now bc i literally cannot afford to be toyed with anymore at this point in my life. i will be single for a lifetime if i need to bc i refuse to settle again.

like bitch, i got shit to do lol is you or is you ain’t in alignment with my master plan? (yes, a casual nut here and there is cool) but like no more situationships, ghosting, cheating, manipulation, etc. i CANNOT deal. i’m too grown for that shit.

excuse me as i rant and emote aloud. these past two years have just been a lot. i try my best to stay optimistic, get better discernment, do my inner work, etc but it gets hard. i refuse to let heart ache turn me cold. i just wish i wasn’t so hesitant/scared now