I think the constant narrative since 16 that Trump voters aren’t *really* racist misogynistic authoritarians who mean everything they say & if left puts everything aside to understand & nurture them they come around has a lot to do with the shock people feel. https://twitter.com/UrsulaV/status/1324431059589734402

The media has repeated over & over that Trumpists were just humble misunderstood secret not-fascists & it was the responsibility of half the country to provide, essentially, therapy for the other half, at which point they would come around.

Reader, they did not come around.

I’ve never in my life, not even when they lose, read one think-piece telling conservatives to put aside their pride & work to understand, love, & compromise with the rest of us. To hear our anxieties. To accept us as human beings with needs & valid ideas

WHAT A SHOCK THEY DON’T

This isn’t even about media bubbles.

Most of the ink spilled toward the left to understand & listen to the poor, misunderstood right comes from “left-leaning” media. They’re talking to their own audience, not Fox’s.

And conservative media sure won’t return the favor. Ever.

So if lefty media says “Libs are arrogant & need to understand this shrieking guy with a gun & maybe he’ll vote for them” & right wing media says “Libs are arrogant & need to understand this shrieking guy with a gun full stop” that guy thinks he’s the best & never needs to change

So how is it any kind of shock that after 4 years of everyone bending over backwards to stick mics in their faces & avoid calling their fantasies lies & scold the left for so much as blinking too fast when there’s a gun in our face, half of the US is like FUCK YEAH LET’S GO AGAIN

Everyone tried to ignore the crazy uncle at the table & have normal conversations & tell the family to just let it go, you know how he is, & then I’m supposed to be stunned that Crazy Uncle is still stuffing his face & now he’s managed to talk the cousins into agreeing with him?

Few tried to tell these people to reach out or listen, they just decided that somehow they were all secretly progressive & just confused, waiting for someone other than Hillary to give them a hug.

No.

They always meant what they said. They want their Rapture-Ready Ethnostate.

Even right this minute, the only people being told to act like adults & maintain friendships & familial ties with their political opponents are the ones who *aren’t* screaming about baby blood-drinking lizards on the moon & that no one but them deserves rights or life.

We watched all year as people refused to wear masks & plotted to kill governors & shot protestors while the cops brought them water.

There was never any reason for them to change their minds. They receive no pushback from their social media, TV, radio, or government.

At the risk of my mentions turning into a bogfire, everyone tutting about how 2016 was wholly Hillary’s fault for being so terrible & anyone else would have beaten Trump & not even Dems wanted to vote for that bitch while evidence of the fix piled up didnt fucking help either.

Blue America got snowed into believing it was all just a misunderstanding. The left & right media, tech corps, politicians on both sides got in on the con

It wasn’t a misunderstanding. This is their fetish. There is no going back to some civilized era—there never was one.

Conservatives have been riding this hog since the founding of the country. It took them *generations* to get this close to their Gilead fever-dream. They have suffered many setbacks & never given up.

It was always going to take way more than one election to claw back from that.

The only thing that kept any of these people from the full-on fascistic madness they’re showing now is social consequences. They used to lose connections if they went too far. They used to think norms had to be obeyed to some extent to convince others to accept their primacy.

Now, if family recoils or friends stop calling or they can’t get through a job interview by spouting bloody hateful rhetoric, they can get that group-belonging tinglies right back in their internet sinkholes & the POTUS. They can get dopamine rewards without pro-social behavior.

The only way there is even a possibility of convincing anyone this apocalyptic fugue state isn’t the way is bringing that back.

Not through understanding & nurturing them.

Through showing that there are consequences to being this kind of gremlin. That hate costs you your tribe

And that sucks.

It means a lot of uncomfortable confrontations online & in person with people we love & have made a habit of forgiving.

It means never getting to “not pay attention” again.

It means voting every year, sometimes twice a year, & fighting for generations.

But if you can’t fight the fight over the dinner table, there’s no way we’re ever going to win it on the national stage.

It sucks, it’s thankless, it’s not fun. But neither is accepting their world in which we lose everything.

Until then, this is what elections look like.

Being a fascist isn’t some vaguely annoying social faux pas.

You have to stop letting them think your silence is your acceptance.

No, grandpa, you don’t get to wear that shirt in this house.

No, you don’t get to say those things & still get hugs from the kids.

That’s over.

If you’re not willing to do that, you’re not in this fight.

And you don’t get to be surprised that the people who you thoyght were basically on your side aren’t.

You let them think you were on their side, too.