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Namkook AU where Jungkook thinks he fucked a Tr**p supporter cus Namjoon had a Tr**p 2020 flyer in his bag.
But Namjoon is actually a liberal leaning strong political activist who has shitty Tr**p supporting adopted parents.
Cue JK having a literal MELTDOWN over dicking
But Namjoon is actually a liberal leaning strong political activist who has shitty Tr**p supporting adopted parents.
Cue JK having a literal MELTDOWN over dicking
down with the enemy and decides to go full celibate till elections are over as penance for "thinking with his dick" (acc to Jimin). He keeps running into Joon who has no idea that JK thinks he's a Tr**p supporter. And Jungkook can't stop thinking about Namjoon's big dick.
NJ carrying a box full of Tr**p flyers to be recycled cus he cares about the environment: Hey Jungkook!
JK: *bambi caught in headlights eyes*
JK: *bambi caught in headlights eyes*
NJ is worried that even though HE enjoyed it, maybe Jungkook didn't? Oh god did he force himself on Jungkook? He tries to remember if there was any moment that he made Jungkook uncomfortable. Should he have asked again just to confirm if putting his dick in JK's ass was okay?
Jimin seeing Namjoon in the library: God those thighs are wasted on a Tr**pie. A LITERAL HATE CRIME
Hoseok: That's not... that's not a hate crime...
Jimin rolling his eyes to high heaven: HOSEOK I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T...
Jungkook in WILD PANIC, loud whisper voice: CAN Y'ALL SHUT IT?
Hoseok: That's not... that's not a hate crime...
Jimin rolling his eyes to high heaven: HOSEOK I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T...
Jungkook in WILD PANIC, loud whisper voice: CAN Y'ALL SHUT IT?
JK: HE'S GOING TO HEAR US????
NJ: *waves*
JK: OH GOD. OH GOD. HE SAW ME. OH FUCK.
NJ *walking over*: Hey!
JK: OMG OMG WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE LIKE NOW
JM: Maybe you could fuck him into being a dem?
NJ: *waves*
JK: OH GOD. OH GOD. HE SAW ME. OH FUCK.
NJ *walking over*: Hey!
JK: OMG OMG WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE LIKE NOW
JM: Maybe you could fuck him into being a dem?
NJ: Hey! How have you been?
JK: Fuckkkkkkkk
NJ*confused face*: I'm sorry???
JK*in high panic*: I gotta go... ugh... my lizard needs to go to the vet
NJ: OMG what's wrong with it?
JM and HS * dying with laughter*
JK: Ugh... I... it...
JK: Fuckkkkkkkk
NJ*confused face*: I'm sorry???
JK*in high panic*: I gotta go... ugh... my lizard needs to go to the vet
NJ: OMG what's wrong with it?
JM and HS * dying with laughter*
JK: Ugh... I... it...
JM: *stepping in to save JK* it was throwing up blood
NJ: OMG I'm so sorry. do you need a ride or something or I could come for emotional support?
HS: Thanks but we can take him.
NJ*nodding*: Of course! I hope it's not something serious. Anyway keep me posted.
JK: ugh yeah.. sure
NJ: OMG I'm so sorry. do you need a ride or something or I could come for emotional support?
HS: Thanks but we can take him.
NJ*nodding*: Of course! I hope it's not something serious. Anyway keep me posted.
JK: ugh yeah.. sure
NJ goes on full research mode looking up why lizards throw up blood and most of them aren't looking good. Cancer prominently shows up.
NJ feels terrible so he goes to their local bakery and buys JK a box of red velvet cupcakes, cus he knows JK has a sweet tooth
NJ feels terrible so he goes to their local bakery and buys JK a box of red velvet cupcakes, cus he knows JK has a sweet tooth
JK *holds cupcake box*: FUCK
JM: Who is that from?
HS: Oh no it's the hot Tr**p supporter
TH: The what now?
JK: DOES HE WANT TO POISON ME? OMG DO YOU THINK HE'LL TAKE ME TO CONVERSION CAMP?
JM: Who is that from?
HS: Oh no it's the hot Tr**p supporter
TH: The what now?
JK: DOES HE WANT TO POISON ME? OMG DO YOU THINK HE'LL TAKE ME TO CONVERSION CAMP?
TH: Can I have one?
JK* full blown panic mode*:WHAT IF HE'S TRYING TO POISON ME?
TH*blinks*: why would he do that?
JK: I DON'T KNOW? HE'S VOTING FOR FUCKING TR**P?
TH: So why is he sending you cupcakes? *squinting at note*
He's sorry about your lizard? When did you get a lizard?
JK* full blown panic mode*:WHAT IF HE'S TRYING TO POISON ME?
TH*blinks*: why would he do that?
JK: I DON'T KNOW? HE'S VOTING FOR FUCKING TR**P?
TH: So why is he sending you cupcakes? *squinting at note*
He's sorry about your lizard? When did you get a lizard?
JM*laughing and tripping off his chair*
HS*clutching his tummy and laughing*
TH*confused*
JK: it's a long story.
TH: *grabbing a cupcake* I've got time
TH*eats*
JK: OMG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN RENEW YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE WTF ARE YOUR THINKING?
HS*clutching his tummy and laughing*
TH*confused*
JK: it's a long story.
TH: *grabbing a cupcake* I've got time
TH*eats*
JK: OMG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN RENEW YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE WTF ARE YOUR THINKING?
TH, the next day: So I didn't die.
JK: YOU COULD HAVE??? DO YOU THINK HE SENT RED VELVET TO YOU KNOW... SIGNAL THAT I SHOULD VOTE REP?
TH: I think you are taking this too far. He's openly gay right?
JK: I THINK HE'S ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO WEARS THE GAYS FOR TR**P SHIRTS!!
TH: Ew.
JK: YOU COULD HAVE??? DO YOU THINK HE SENT RED VELVET TO YOU KNOW... SIGNAL THAT I SHOULD VOTE REP?
TH: I think you are taking this too far. He's openly gay right?
JK: I THINK HE'S ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO WEARS THE GAYS FOR TR**P SHIRTS!!
TH: Ew.
***
NJ: I really think he hates me!
YJ: that twink? The one with the muscles?
SJ, salivating: A twink with muscles? COME TO DADDY
NJ:
YJ: well why do you think he hates you?
NJ: Well he hasn't responded to any of my texts and he kinda runs whenever he sees me.
NJ: I really think he hates me!
YJ: that twink? The one with the muscles?
SJ, salivating: A twink with muscles? COME TO DADDY
NJ:
YJ: well why do you think he hates you?
NJ: Well he hasn't responded to any of my texts and he kinda runs whenever he sees me.
YG: Leave him. You are too good to be simping over ghosters
SJ: AMEN PRAISE THE LORD
NJ: You aren't even a Christian?
SJ: You think the Lord didn't give ME this beautiful face?*points at face*
*points at ass* THIS?
NJ: can we focus on the real problem here!
YG: your taste in men?
SJ: AMEN PRAISE THE LORD
NJ: You aren't even a Christian?
SJ: You think the Lord didn't give ME this beautiful face?*points at face*
*points at ass* THIS?
NJ: can we focus on the real problem here!
YG: your taste in men?
NJ:EXCUSE ME BUT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT THE RACIST WHITE GUY FROM ECON 465 WAS HOT?
YG:No, I said it would be hot if I had his white male confidence, his jawline.
SJ:Hallelujah!
NJ: Can you stop?
SJ:God didn't put me on this damn earth to be stopped by the likes of you
YG:No, I said it would be hot if I had his white male confidence, his jawline.
SJ:Hallelujah!
NJ: Can you stop?
SJ:God didn't put me on this damn earth to be stopped by the likes of you
NJ:Why? Why do you have a southern accent
YG: we need alcohol. Loads of alcohol. We are going to get shit faced drunk and forget about muscle twinkly & work on your grad school applications
SJ: I can't believe I'm friends with y'all. I'm down to get dicked down. Fuck grad school.
YG: we need alcohol. Loads of alcohol. We are going to get shit faced drunk and forget about muscle twinkly & work on your grad school applications
SJ: I can't believe I'm friends with y'all. I'm down to get dicked down. Fuck grad school.
YJ: Wait no we have the student meeting today.
SJ:Perfect. I can find my new fuck there. Gays for Dems.Let's get LIT!
YJ: Why. Why am I friends with y'all?
***
JK: OMG WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
JM:OH DAMN. HE REALLY HERE.*laughs hysterically*
TH:His friend looks cute.
SJ:Perfect. I can find my new fuck there. Gays for Dems.Let's get LIT!
YJ: Why. Why am I friends with y'all?
***
JK: OMG WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
JM:OH DAMN. HE REALLY HERE.*laughs hysterically*
TH:His friend looks cute.
HS:Does he like you so much he's willing to give up his political ideologies? Damn you really fucked him GOOD.
JK: I CANNOT. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.
JM:He has a save the turtles bag? THE FUCK? HE'S VOTING FOR THE WRONG PARTY!
TH*unbuttoning his shirt*: I'm going for it.
JK: I CANNOT. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.
JM:He has a save the turtles bag? THE FUCK? HE'S VOTING FOR THE WRONG PARTY!
TH*unbuttoning his shirt*: I'm going for it.
TH: How many buttons off is considered inappropriate? Like how much chest can I show?
JK:I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE
HS: just talk to him? Be like sorry don't fuck with Tr**p supporters.
JM:He does have hot friends...
JK:OMG CAN Y'ALL STOP IT?I AM HE ONE WHO HAS A REAL PROBLEM!
JK:I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE
HS: just talk to him? Be like sorry don't fuck with Tr**p supporters.
JM:He does have hot friends...
JK:OMG CAN Y'ALL STOP IT?I AM HE ONE WHO HAS A REAL PROBLEM!
NJ:Oh he's here
YG:Who is that weirdo who's stripping?
SJ: He's kinda cute
YG:I'm not here to fuck anyone
SJ: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF BICH
YG: um we are here to discuss policy and how to get young people to vote?
SJ: and sex isn't a good way to make you vote?
NJ: Should I talk to him?
YG:Who is that weirdo who's stripping?
SJ: He's kinda cute
YG:I'm not here to fuck anyone
SJ: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF BICH
YG: um we are here to discuss policy and how to get young people to vote?
SJ: and sex isn't a good way to make you vote?
NJ: Should I talk to him?
YG: Why does he always look at you like you're gonna k word him?
NJ: OMG SO IT'S NOT JUST ME?
SJ: WHY ARE THEY ALL HOT? LIKE ALL NINES?
YG: nines?
SJ: Obviously I'm the only 10 in this room bich *flips hair*
YG: Stripper boy look like a 11 to me
SJ: FUCK YOU
NJ:GUYS!!!! FOCUS!!!
NJ: OMG SO IT'S NOT JUST ME?
SJ: WHY ARE THEY ALL HOT? LIKE ALL NINES?
YG: nines?
SJ: Obviously I'm the only 10 in this room bich *flips hair*
YG: Stripper boy look like a 11 to me
SJ: FUCK YOU
NJ:GUYS!!!! FOCUS!!!
TH: I call dibs on the short guy *unbuttons more*
JM: I wanna climb that toll boi like a redwood tree
HS*starts buttoning TH's shirt* Fucking Tae STOP IT WE ARE GONNA GET KICKED OUT
JK: He's here to spy isn't he? like he cares about turtles but not human rights? like I can't?
JM: I wanna climb that toll boi like a redwood tree
HS*starts buttoning TH's shirt* Fucking Tae STOP IT WE ARE GONNA GET KICKED OUT
JK: He's here to spy isn't he? like he cares about turtles but not human rights? like I can't?
JK: oh no. oh no. why is he walking this way?
TH:Your blowjob skills probably. I will take credit for it
HS: WHAT?
TH: Who do you think taught this baby gay all he knows? ME. IT WAS JUST ME
HS: YOU DID WHAT NOW?
JM: He was young and inexperienced. Tae was doing God's work
TH:AMEN
TH:Your blowjob skills probably. I will take credit for it
HS: WHAT?
TH: Who do you think taught this baby gay all he knows? ME. IT WAS JUST ME
HS: YOU DID WHAT NOW?
JM: He was young and inexperienced. Tae was doing God's work
TH:AMEN
NJ: Hey Jungkook! How is your lizard?
JM: It's feeling a little lonely... *winks*
HS*blinks*
JK: Um yeah... that...
NJ: Oh I'm so sorry, is that why it was throwing up? Cus it was lonely? That's so sad. I'm so sorry. Maybe we can find some lizard friends.
TH: Bless his gay heart
JM: It's feeling a little lonely... *winks*
HS*blinks*
JK: Um yeah... that...
NJ: Oh I'm so sorry, is that why it was throwing up? Cus it was lonely? That's so sad. I'm so sorry. Maybe we can find some lizard friends.
TH: Bless his gay heart
JM: Um so we are having drinks after this do you wanna join us?
NJ: Ugh yeah sure.
JM:*winks* sweeet bring your friends. *licks lips seductive*
TH:*nods aggressively*
JK:*internal death*
HS: *to himself* so glad that I'm not single.
NJ: Ugh yeah sure.
JM:*winks* sweeet bring your friends. *licks lips seductive*
TH:*nods aggressively*
JK:*internal death*
HS: *to himself* so glad that I'm not single.
Who is Hoseok's boyfriend? Pick the group!
It's a tie so let's break it.
NJ: Cool. I'll see you then. Um... nice shirt btw JK. *smiles*
HS:*blinks*: I am confusion.
JK:*looking at his vote for B**en tshirt*WHAT?
TH: He is so gay. So gay. He knows that right?
JM: Those are some blowjob skills JK
Cus that boy about to be a Dem baby. YEEHAW.
HS:*blinks*: I am confusion.
JK:*looking at his vote for B**en tshirt*WHAT?
TH: He is so gay. So gay. He knows that right?
JM: Those are some blowjob skills JK
Cus that boy about to be a Dem baby. YEEHAW.
NJ: They invited us to a party.
SJ: YAS
YG: Is that stripper boy going to be there?
NJ: He still didn't look like he was happy to see me, I even complimented his shirt! Do you think I should get a lizard? Like I've been doing research, they aren't as hard as cats or dogs.
SJ: YAS
YG: Is that stripper boy going to be there?
NJ: He still didn't look like he was happy to see me, I even complimented his shirt! Do you think I should get a lizard? Like I've been doing research, they aren't as hard as cats or dogs.
SJ: Look we are all going to get some tonight so can we talk about the real issue here?
NJ: YES FINALLY. JUNGKOOK IS STILL NOT TALKING TO ME?
SJ: No... I don't have condoms? Lube? DID NOT PREP AT ALL? HELLO?
YG: Omg what kinda hetero BS is not prepped. There's literally a CVS.
NJ: YES FINALLY. JUNGKOOK IS STILL NOT TALKING TO ME?
SJ: No... I don't have condoms? Lube? DID NOT PREP AT ALL? HELLO?
YG: Omg what kinda hetero BS is not prepped. There's literally a CVS.
YG: Sex isn't limited to anal also the LGBTQ centre has free condoms?
SJ:Alright then. Time to get drunk and into the arms of a boy.
YG:*sighs* I can't believe I'm doing this
SJ: EXCUSE ME SIR I SAW YOU LOOKING AT STRIPPER BOY. YOU NASTY. NASTY I TELL YA.
SJ:Alright then. Time to get drunk and into the arms of a boy.
YG:*sighs* I can't believe I'm doing this
SJ: EXCUSE ME SIR I SAW YOU LOOKING AT STRIPPER BOY. YOU NASTY. NASTY I TELL YA.
Authors note: I will not describe sex in detail but yeah it will be kinda NSFW from here on.
Also the content will be all consensual.
I'll be taking a short break to grab dinner and we shall continue this chaotic mess.
Also the content will be all consensual.
I'll be taking a short break to grab dinner and we shall continue this chaotic mess.
YG: I can't believe we are going to a frat party
NJ: not a frat party
SJ: *Pushes YG & NJ* Outta my way bitches I'm here to fornicate
YG: Why? Why are we friends with you?
NJ: Okay so what should be my strategy?
YG: stay away from Jin.
NJ: I mean seriously! Why does he hate me?
NJ: not a frat party
SJ: *Pushes YG & NJ* Outta my way bitches I'm here to fornicate
YG: Why? Why are we friends with you?
NJ: Okay so what should be my strategy?
YG: stay away from Jin.
NJ: I mean seriously! Why does he hate me?
JK: OMG HE'S HERE.
TH:*In a kimono* IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE.
HS: Is he only wearing??? A... kimono???
JM: He probably has a thong or something underneath. Now where is that sexy friend of NJ?
HS:*Choking*: THONG?
JM: Bich please like you weren't putting it out when you were trying
TH:*In a kimono* IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE.
HS: Is he only wearing??? A... kimono???
JM: He probably has a thong or something underneath. Now where is that sexy friend of NJ?
HS:*Choking*: THONG?
JM: Bich please like you weren't putting it out when you were trying
HS: WHEN WAS I EVEN TRYING?
JM: HELLO??? WHEN YOU WERE IN THE PRE DATING PHASE WITH MINGYU??
SPEAKING OF WHERE IS MR. HOT STUFF.
HS: Please stop putting your slut face on when you are talking about Mingyu
JM: I can't believe you are the one who gets a HOT boyfriend. WASTE.
JM: HELLO??? WHEN YOU WERE IN THE PRE DATING PHASE WITH MINGYU??
SPEAKING OF WHERE IS MR. HOT STUFF.
HS: Please stop putting your slut face on when you are talking about Mingyu
JM: I can't believe you are the one who gets a HOT boyfriend. WASTE.
NJ:*pours drink*
JK:*dying*
JM: You got this baby. Go convert him.
NJ: Hey!
JK: ...
JK:*awkward wave*
NJ:so
JK:lookIdon'tfuckrepublicans
NJ: Sorry I didn't catch that
JK: I don't... like... Republicans...
NJ:Cool.
JK:*confused face*
NJ:Look do you not like me?
JK:*dying*
JM: You got this baby. Go convert him.
NJ: Hey!
JK: ...
JK:*awkward wave*
NJ:so
JK:lookIdon'tfuckrepublicans
NJ: Sorry I didn't catch that
JK: I don't... like... Republicans...
NJ:Cool.
JK:*confused face*
NJ:Look do you not like me?
JK: I mean
NJ:OH.
JK:yeah
NJ: oh wow. I'm sorry. I'm really if I made you feel uncomfortable when we had sex, I didn't mean to. I obviously didn't check if you were comfortable and consenting. Omg I'm so sorry.
JK: I mean the sex was good..
NJ: I'm so sorry I'm going to go now.
NJ:OH.
JK:yeah
NJ: oh wow. I'm sorry. I'm really if I made you feel uncomfortable when we had sex, I didn't mean to. I obviously didn't check if you were comfortable and consenting. Omg I'm so sorry.
JK: I mean the sex was good..
NJ: I'm so sorry I'm going to go now.
NJ: can we go pls?
YG: what happened?
NJ: don't wanna talk about it.
SJ: *sighs* Well I ain't leaving.
YG*GLARING*: WHAT HAPPENED YO BROS BEFORE HOES?
SJ:buuuyyyyeeeee
NJ: can we please go
YG: Fuck Jin. Fuck him
NJ &YG exit the house
YG: you okay?
NJ: no.
YG: what happened?
NJ: don't wanna talk about it.
SJ: *sighs* Well I ain't leaving.
YG*GLARING*: WHAT HAPPENED YO BROS BEFORE HOES?
SJ:buuuyyyyeeeee
NJ: can we please go
YG: Fuck Jin. Fuck him
NJ &YG exit the house
YG: you okay?
NJ: no.
YG: Let's get you home.
SJ:*running after them*: WAIT FOR ME
YG:???
SJ: Why pick hoes or bros when you can pick both?
NJ:what?
SJ:*shows phone* got his number
YG: You are one of a kind Kim Seokjin.
SJ: let's get you home bud.
SJ:*running after them*: WAIT FOR ME
YG:???
SJ: Why pick hoes or bros when you can pick both?
NJ:what?
SJ:*shows phone* got his number
YG: You are one of a kind Kim Seokjin.
SJ: let's get you home bud.
NJ*drinking his nth beer of he night*: I bought a lizard.*starts crying*
YG*on his god knows how many glass of obscure alcohol but completely sober:YOU DID WHAT NOW?
NJ:He was so cute, I couldn't leave him.
YG: Namjoon, Kim Namjoon please tell me you didn't actually buy a lizard!
YG*on his god knows how many glass of obscure alcohol but completely sober:YOU DID WHAT NOW?
NJ:He was so cute, I couldn't leave him.
YG: Namjoon, Kim Namjoon please tell me you didn't actually buy a lizard!
NJ: I did. His name is Lizzo. Like the singer? *sobs* like I wanted a female lizard but they didn't have any so..*sob* His name is Lizzo anyway
SJ: *grabs more alcohol* I am not drunk enough for this shit
YG: *blinks*
YG: God give me the strength to endure this atrocity.
SJ:Amen
SJ: *grabs more alcohol* I am not drunk enough for this shit
YG: *blinks*
YG: God give me the strength to endure this atrocity.
SJ:Amen
