U know those fics in which krbk are not dating and one day one of them encounters a villain who turns into the other so they're forced to fight someone who looks like their love interest n its just painful to do??
I love them..but what abt krbk who are dating n have a petty fight before hero work n a villain turns into the other n they take it all out on them LMAO like..kiri literally kicking fake-bkg's ass cause the real bkg stole the pork from his breakfast bowl n ran away ANSHDHS
Kiri, whilst repeatedly punching fake bkg: "you BASTARD!! You're lucky im gonna marry you soon!!"
The villain: "t-that wasnt public domain--"
Kiri, headbutting them: "i KNOW!! I HAVENT PROPOSED YET BUT IF HE KEEPS MIXING WHITES AND REDS IM GONNA HAVE TO RECONSIDER!!"
Bkg doesnt know shit on how to wash clothes that arent all black ok he doesnt separate white tees from colored tees he ruined more than one garment of kiri's and no u cant change my mind
Also when bkg is faced with a kiri knock-off he stomps over n punches their gut screaming shit like "YOU FORGOT TO PICK UP THE WET CAT FOOD!! NOW SHE'S GONNA MEOW OUR EARS OFF TONIGHT!!" and "ALSO MY NEW PHONE KEYCHAIN IS BADASS AS SHIT FUCK YOU" and suplexes them
Joke's on the villains honestly cause theyre both very physical guys n they tend to tackle each other n have sparring matches while screaming their emotions out but its all behind closed doors which is why it takes a while before villains pick up on it and stop using copy quirks
Can u tell i need more crack fics in my life??????? ??
Like..IMAGINE a kiri-villain going all dramatic like "ah, ground zero..if only someone loved u..too bad i love someone else n ur worthless" n bkg booms his way over n kicks them in the jaw screaming "THATS NOT WHAT YOU TOLD MY MOM LAST NIGHT AND U NEVER LIE TO HER!!" god........
Okok last one NSVNFHSAH baku-villain picking on kiri like "remember that time i almost died n u werent there?? Worthless hero n even worse boyfriend" and real kiri sees red n knees the villain's dick while hardened..tears on his face.."FUCK YOU IM SAD NOW!! ROT IN JAIL ASSHOLE"
Who wants to hear more about them before i sleep
Omg YESSS NICE i was gonna share more anyway but im glad ur with me ASBSHSHA

I was thinking that obvsly all this yelling leads to a lot of personal details being Accidentally Revealed to the public..but its all weirdly endearing n innocent stuff....?????
Like how bkg wakes up late n kiri has to drag him out of bed when he gets bratty or how he has to feed him when he pouts too hard n hasnt had his tea yet OR how kiri's tummy is v sensitive to certain foods so bkg has to make sure he doesnt eat junk food more than once a week
Sometimes its also p gross stuff like..

Kiri: *squeezes n tugs at bkg-villain's face VERY hard while growling* "i TOLD u to not go ham on the spices last night but nooooo now ur stuck at home with a killer diarrhea cause u had to pRoVe A pOiNt i hate u sometimes"
But yea like i said i think the best thing ever would be that they just. They share the braincell in the best way possible but its hard cause its only one LMAO n its honestly incredible how these lil accidents only happen with body-shifting quirks!! Otherwise they're professional
They'll be knocking foreheads or arm-wresrling at a bar while out with their friends n maybe todoroki joins them in the middle of it after years of not seeing them n he goes "why are they fighting" n kaminari is like "shhhh they're communicating".....n yes they really are
They're muttering n wheezing at each other really intensely while their sleeves are rolled all the way up n they're sweating buckets n why???? Bc they're arguing over who is gonna have to take a day off to go pay the utility bills n go pick up the cake for kiri's dad's birthday
N u know..u KNOW ppl who have an issue with them being publicly together call them ""abusive"" n ""bad for the youth""!!! So ofc one day they're guests at a talk show n the host asks them "so how do u feel abt that??"
Bkg: "i dont give a fuck"
Kiri: "yea i dont give a shit either"
Bkg: *gasps loudly* "we're on live tv u cant say that!!"
Kiri: "why not????"
Bkg: "ur.....ur red riot the second most beloved hero by children....u cant set a bad example?????"
Kiri: "oh my god"
Bkg: "i need a break"
The host just blinks cause they dont KNOW WHAT TO SAY...until kiri snorts n pushes bkg so hard he falls from the chair laughing n long story short they scuffle on live tv n before the feed is cut off bkg yells "IF ANYONE EVER HURT HIM I WILL HUNT U DOWN" while kissing kiris cheek
But back to the shape-shifting villains..imagine some of them ganging up to strike heroes all at once n trying to set them against one another with false rumors n weird accidents that make them suspicious of one another..
N kiri n bkg have been dating for not too long at this point in time, so not much is known abt them so the villains just assume bkg is a volatile bitch who has the emotional depth of a puddle on a sunny day
So ofc they fabricate fake photos of kiri seeing someone in secret n make sure to cause enough ruckus to force kiri to stay overtime on his shift so it looks like he IS cheating on bkg with someone else
So when they believe the right time has come they set kiri n bkg up to fight one another off n possibly destroy each other somewhere in the middle of town so if they also destroy the city theyre gonna toast to them two
So they stay hidden n watch krbk exchange angry blows except they also scream stuff unrelated to the supposed cheating, like "WHY DID U NOT PUT THE DISHES FROM THE DISHWASHER BACK TO THE CUPBOARD THIS MORNING IT WAS UR TURN"
"I WAS GONNA MISS THE TRAIN!!"
"WELL WAKE UP EARLIER!!"
bkg: *blows kiri's chest* "BY THE WAY DAD SAYS HI"
kiri: *throws bkg to the ground* "DID U SAY HI BACK FROM ME"
bkg: *bites kiri's ankle* "NO CAUSE U DIDNT KISS CHERRY'S FLUFFY HEAD GOODBYE WHEN U LEFT FOR WORK YESTERDAY"
kiri: *punches bkg's stomach* "I'LL MAKE UP TO BOTH OF U"
When the villains show up to finish the job cause those two are all beaten n panting they simply get a devastating combo attack thrown their way with krbk screaming even louder, in unison "GET OUT WE'RE PLANNING OUR ROMANTIC DATE BY THE LAKE FOR NEXT FRIDAY!!"
Theyre so disgustingly in love ok..also i promise they dont always go destructive fierceness on each other theyre also capable of soft moments of whispered intimacy but their explosions-and-manliness-themed wedding ceremony isnt one of them goodnight
Oh ya sry ~the end~ so u know I'm done torturing everyone LMAOOOO GN
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