Hello, it's me - a chronically ill and vulnerable person - here to remind you that lockdown never ended for disabled people.

No one outside of the disability community seems to be acknowledging this and I want to talk about it given the recent announcements

I know this is difficult for absolutely everyone, but please try to recognise that for many people the conditions that will be put in place from Thursday have been constant and unrelenting ever since March - this isn't a change for everyone and that should be recognised too

As a disabled person, I have been living within this level of restriction since June - before that I was in total isolation for 3 months until support bubbles (the one change I could use) were introduced. I have had to live in constant lockdown as the risk to my life never ended

Excluding healthcare, the tiny handful of people I've seen since things began to open up have isolated in advance of seeing me so they wouldn't risk passing on the virus. Every decision I make has to be thought through in advance and my options are extremely limited

Other than healthcare appointments - as I said in a previous tweet - I've only had in-person social contact on 13 days in the last 7.5 months. I have spent the bulk of that time alone in my tiny flat. I've barely even existed in the world because I *can't*

The lack of awareness people have about disabled experiences of the pandemic, such as mine, really concerns me, yet we see the open commentary on shutting the vulnerable away for the benefit of the healthy and the comfort others take in "pre-existing conditions" and death rates

I want to have empathy for everyone and their personal circumstances but it's getting really hard when that same empathy isn't shown to disabled and vulnerable people. I'm already exhausted hearing how hard it will be with no acknowledgement it's been this hard for us all year

I'm exhausted seeing people cram in as much social time and as many trips out as they can before Thursday, acting as though lockdown is a punishment and not a tool for saving lives, as though there isn't a pandemic, with no regard for the impact of their actions on other people

I can't help but feel if more people had acted with disabled people and our lives in mind, instead of trying to reclaim as much as possible of their own, we would all be in a better place right now and disabled people might have been safe enough to get more of our lives back too

There needs to be a perspective shift from individual want to collective responsibility, and if you're not considering vulnerable lives when you're making choices in a pandemic you probably want to examine your ableism

If you think it's fair that I've lived in lockdown for so long whilst healthy people were enabled in risky behaviours that made people like me even less safe, if you think a holiday or dinner and drinks is more deserved than my safety, you need to check your ableism

I understand that it's hard but for many disabled people like myself this is beginning to feel impossible. We feel invisible, forgotten and disposable every day - all the time. We had lives before this too. We want our lives back too. We want our struggles acknowledged too

We are human beings with friends and family, work and interests, and the exact same human needs and desires as healthy people. The only difference is that we don't have the luxury of feeling invincible or to 'risk it'. We are only safe if everyone is safe... and they haven't been

I've personally been stunned to see how many people have been happy to get their lives back at our expense without even a second glance, and how many of those people are now upset about having to live the lives their actions have forced on disabled people this entire time

How ready people are to sacrifice our freedom entirely instead of giving up a portion of their own to keep us all safe... watching all of this unfold as a disabled person has been heartbreaking and I can't not voice that at this point

And of course, I know that so much of the weight of this sits with the shambolic incompetence of our government but that doesn't mean that personal responsibility ceases to exist if you are in a position to be able to make safer, more caring choices

In doing so, you wouldn't only be protecting the vulnerable but also essential workers, people with caring responsibilities, all of the people who simply cannot be locked down in the same way because they're needed in real life

I'm sure a thread like this will cause some defensiveness, these points certainly have done in real life conversations I've had too, but I would ask you to investigate that defensiveness

All I'm really asking is for everyone to be mindful of vulnerable people's experiences, to act with us in mind, to be community minded and to do the right thing. We *can* all get through this - but only if we work empathetically together and not single mindedly for ourselves