‘Twas a few nights before the election, and all throughout the House

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The Capitol was dark, Pelosi smiling with glee,

“That sucker Mnuchin and McConnell will never get COVID relief past me!”
Spooky vibes circulated within the country, as stores boarded up their shops,

But there was Steve King and Joe Kennedy, sharing tears over a mop.

Susan Collins campaigned hard, McSally going off too,

McConnell knows the GOP can only lose two.
Air Force one soared, with 30,000 fans screaming waiting,

“On Omaha, On Scranton, on Macomb-County,

The Fake News media will never beat me!”

Joe Biden went traveling, nobody understood why,

Giving speeches in onomatopoeias made the country want to cry.
Jeff Zucker, being worried, started to change his tune,

No Trump means covering murder trials, all day, and very soon.

But at the end of the night, this country elects one winner, after a bitter and hard fight

Good luck to that person, and to all a good night.
You can follow @blakeaspenNE.
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