What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Kenney says a deal with Saudi Arabia to build a petrochemical plant in Alberta doesn't affect Alberta's reputation for producing "ethical oil" because the contract was printed on paper made of recycled cardboard healthcare promises.

2. With Ontario's Covid case numbers at record highs, Doug says numbers are on their way down. Ford says if you tilt the graph paper down to the right that's pretty obvious.
3. Doug decides praying Covid will go away isn't working so he begs the Great Pumpkin to make it go away.

4. After posting photos of 50 maskless family members standing squeezed shoulder to shoulder, MPP Oosterhoff says the knitting circle just wasn't done with their masks yet.
5. Doug says people should give Sam a break. Says Sam detailed his car, so the province should forgive Sam.

6. Poilievre says socialism doesn't work and, as someone who's been paid by the State his entire professional career, he should now.
7. Rempel says if you don't donate to the CPC your credentials and years of scientific experience don't count.
8. O'Toole asks "Are you with meme?"

9. Ford government writes bill giving friend's christian school ability to grant degrees, before official application process complete. Ford says he trusts the school will be approved since Ron Taverner is Dean and Dean French is the lacrosse coach there.
10. #Yahoosterhoff

11. Ford says best way to battle rising Covid numbers is for his government to re-announce old announcements about stuff the previous government planned.
12. Kenney says UCP is contracting AB hospital cleaning services out to 'Ben Harper's Hospital Cleaning and Lawnmowing Inc.'

13. Lecce says the best way to keep kids safe in class is to hire new Teachers College grads who live in vans and can move from school to school more easily.
14. Lecce says he and Oosterhoff have been busy in discussions about making schools safe and Sam is really learning a lot.

15. Doug says most university deans owe their school $500K and are married to people who say they're doctors when they're not. Says people are texting him and telling him that all the time.
16. Lilley says "Dr Williams should be fired - doing a terrible job running the province!"

17. Blanchet asks for 50-year-old apology from Feds for War Measures Act. Singh says Trudeau must also apologise for the Leafs' poor performance since '67.
18. Bobby Orr leaves retirement to play Right Wing for Trump's wreck league.
19. Jack Nicklaus shanks one hard to the Right.

20. Kenney says economy shutdown not the solution for managing pandemic. Says keeping healthcare workers at home is key.
21. Shandro says Alberta can't be moved over to Federal tracing app until he upgrades his Nokia burner.
22. UCP creates fake nurse account. Spell nurse wrong.

23. Report indicate most people reaching their threshold for pandemic and political fatigue. The good news is, with 55 days until Christmas, family dysfunction and financial anxiety should help alleviate that.
24. Oosterhoff family plans carolling event at Bob's All-You-Can-Eat.

26. Does anyone happen to know what I should do with this flash drive I found labelled "Fake Biden Bombshell!"?
25. Reminder to self: Life is short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be kind. And always make sure I have adult supervision when pumpkin carving.