Read on Twitter
Hello, hi, nice to see you, I'm a British first time novelist or a short story writer you've never heard of before who has about 8,000 followers. My profile picture is either an artist's impression or me in a garden looking authorly. I'm here to tell you a totally true story (1)
that happened to me either yesterday in the shops or long ago in my childhood. Either way, the story can in no way be verified but trust me, an author you just found on Twitter, every word of it is true. Now, some of you may be wondering, "why are they only just telling this (2)
story now? When they have either recently released some new writing or their book needs another push?"
Well, I'll tell you.
Either, I've had a lot of time to think about my childhood during lockdown and have only just remembered, or it's something that just happened (3)
Well, I'll tell you.
Either, I've had a lot of time to think about my childhood during lockdown and have only just remembered, or it's something that just happened (3)
so I've never mentioned it on Twitter or to any actual soul I know before.
Again, you'll just have to trust me on this one.
The story itself is surely the funniest or scariest thing that's ever happened to me so you should definitely carry on reading however I'm going to (4)
Again, you'll just have to trust me on this one.
The story itself is surely the funniest or scariest thing that's ever happened to me so you should definitely carry on reading however I'm going to (4)
invent an excuse to stop here for a bit to allow this thread to gain momentum amongst my existing follows who will be completely drawn in and say things like:
"ooh this is going to be good."
and
*turns on notifications* (5)
"ooh this is going to be good."
and
*turns on notifications* (5)
Side note: very inconsiderate of Sean Connery to die as I am trying to drip freed out my story as a thread to achieve viral fame and drum up book sales, but I do hope you'll still tune in when I'm ready to begin (6)
OK I've had a few engagements so I am going to start telling my story over the span of about 50 tweets in this thread. It happened in a very easy-to-find place, eg a supermarket chain in a small town or in a remote village, however I refuse to name it because that would allow (7)
