i am going to preface this by saying that this is a JOKE and i DO NOT THINK the bangtans are cannibals and also if you cannot take a joke i would like you to get the fuck out please

that said: here is a thread of bangtan sonyeondan as types of cannibal

NAMJOON: hapless cannibal. sort of stumbles into cannibalism somehow, but then does ALL the research on it. not great at doing the cooking. not great at choosing who to eat. good at the theory, not so much the actual cannibalism.

JIN: a thriving cannibal. the type of cannibal with his own little book of recipes in a cute little notebook. can make an awesome five-course meal out of human. not so great at actually doing the hunting part of it, but once he's got that meat...!

YOONGI: the cannibalism equivalent of a social drinker/smoker. he'll try anything, and he'll eat human if it's there. you know. to be polite. will also tell you little tidbits about the history of cannibalism, just for funsies.

HOSEOK: will graham. the unsuspecting/unwitting cannibal. what is this meat? it's really good! HOSEOK THATS A FUCKING HUMAN FEMUR YOU ARE GNAWING AT GET A GODDAMN CLUE

JIMIN: schrödinger's cannibal. is he actually...?? or?? and when taehyung calls him a man-eater, is that, like...?? does he eat people? or does he just like teasing? what is that smile saying? it's just??? IS HE?????

TAEHYUNG: vore enthusiast turned cannibal. i really don't think this requires explanation.

JUNGKOOK: eat-first-questions-later cannibal. remember that time he ate a dog treat? it's a little like that. also, if the HYUNGS are doing it, why shouldn't he?

THE END THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK ON BANGTAN CANNIBALS