One of the hallmarks of malignant narcissism is they keep revenge lists. They do not 'let things go'.

Ever.

They are incapable of it. And there's no slight too small for them to become extremely vicious about.

They are utterly vindictive. https://twitter.com/AmandaMarcotte/status/1322228088202297345

They will even allow people BACK IN to what seems their 'inner circle' (They do not have normal circles like normal people. They have a stage with them upon it, and they are the ONLY player, director, producer, writer, etc)

But you'll have paid first, been made an example of...

and will be told to kiss the ring, and lick the boot in front of others to deter their defection or disloyalty.

You will never be allowed to forget it, because the narcissist never forgets it, and they must savor their triumph.

Oh and if it's a slight or hurt they can't avenge? If it's someone ABOVE them that they must admire or idolize?

They'll just reframe it so it's not a slight or a hurt. Or not really towards them.

But anything they take as a hurt? They don't walk it off. They SEETHE.

And it doesn't seem to lessen over time as it does with yours or mine. The memory of the event may lessen for them as it does for us all.

But as we've seen with Trump he's taken petty slights from 20...even 40 years ago...and STILL can't let go of them. (Small hands)

We all make fun of Donald's 'small hands' because we're only aware it bothers him because...what like 40 years ago now? A guy wrote an article and one comment ...a single comment in the article mentioned his hands were small.

Donald would go on to send pictures to this guy

with his hands circled, for years.

That came up when he was running. (As did soooo many things). And how this SINGLE COMMENT in an article fueled this nonsense for decades.

He cannot let go of slights. It's not resolved in Trump's mind because the guy didn't apologize to him

and he hasn't been 'punished' (enough). The hurt when he visits it, is as fresh and immediate as when it first bothered him.

This is one of the many problems with malignant narcissists and why they are both so dangerous and disruptive to society.

That said, malignant narcissism is rare. And it's but ONE form of narcissism.

But narcissism is not treatable, and while an outsider might evaluate differently in rare occasion, it's a disorder that makes everyone AROUND them suffer far far more than the narcissist.

And since that doesn't bother the narcissist because they ENJOY being the eye of the storm...they do not seek help nor do they want help. They don't have a problem.

On rare occasions a narcissist seeks help? It's not to change, but rather over a specific issue that is

bothering THEM, impacting THEM, or is something they don't know how to control (How do I make my partner stay, I don't want them to leave. I want to MAKE them stay).

Any changes last less than six months, which is average for any change you're not serious about.

My entire point being...with pretty much any other problem (outside of psychopathy and sociopathy) ...the person suffers FAR FAR more than society.

And while it's not the fault of the narcissist that they are one? If we can't HELP them we're stupid not to protect ourselves