as someone who is having identity crisis I'm having mixed emotions right now after this episode TL:DR
#GayaSaPelikulaEp06

growing up, i would say na malambot talaga ako, i think. duhh naging mother kaya ako sa chinese garter

it was way back in elementary when things began to change between me and my parents. everytime we have family gatherings they're always telling me na "wag ka nga lalamya lamya di maganda tignan, sayang talino mo kung ganyan ka lang rin naman, ayoko magkaroon ng anak na bakla"

of course i was scared of it, the thought of being disowned, it was scary. so all i did was follow their advice and do good in school and we're at peace, again. although i distanced myself from them

but it doesn't work that way isn't it? no matter how hard you try to conceal yourself, there's still this feeling that something is missing

ff: high-school, i met this girl and i would say na nafall ako as in. we became close friends, these are the days where i told myself na maybe it's just a phase (but then it's not)

of course my parents were happy "naks lalaki na ulit ikaw" and friends we're like "wag na kasi torpe bat ayaw mo pa ligawan"

i did not pursue her was because it felt like i was cheating on her even though my feelings for her was real. it just doesn't feel right

i made some nice gay and queer friends 9th grade and or course, parents we're disappointed.

i told myself na gagalingan ko na lang sa acads, ending, lahat kami grumaduate ng shs with honors and i think masaya naman parents ko don

funny thing is, doing good in school felt more like a need just to prove yourself to them and up 'til now i'm still not sure on how my parents would react to that, im wanting to graduate college as fast as i can just so i could get out of this house

ps. the reason why i said na im having identity crisis is because im falling for a guy sa squad namin na kasama si ate girl but everytime na im having solo friendly dates with ate girl kinikilig pa rin ako,,,​ ++ alam ng gay friends ko straight ako so i​ don't know..

also, im new to this sogie thing so please educate me if needed.