So it's the 20th anniversary of my dad's passing today. I don't do much personal writing, but I sat down and punched this out and it would mean the world if you read it. https://angelinameehan.substack.com/p/the-ghost-who-smiles-back

Halloween was dad’s favorite holiday by a mile, so it’s wild to me it was the day before that he was just like “mmmbye”

I don’t have many photos with him, and it makes me sad, but these are some of my favorite.

Him and I at a Girl Scout Father/Daughter dance, which we did every year. He was a big goofball on the dance floor who would get all the other kids acting wild, and I love that about him.

no comment, LOOOOOL. My brother is in the pink shirt minding his own business, while my mom is the one taking the picture and enjoying some schadenfreude

A Philly boy, tried and true. Sometimes I’m just mostly pissed he missed the Eagles winning the Super Bowl.

Taken right after I was born, haha. This was in Little Rock, where my dad was stationed for a few years.

I don’t have a photo of this, but my dad’s favorite band was Earth, Wind, and Fire. He saw them every single time they came to Philadelphia, and took my sister and I along with him. One time, Barry White was the opener. Dad had to explain a lot after that set

My dad enlisted in the Marines, but ended up fucking off from it to go to law school instead. He went to UPenn, & on weekends, he bartended in Wilmington, DE, which was how he met my mom. In the summer, he worked laying down railroad track because he was obsessed with trains.

But my favorite, favorite thing about my dad was how much he believed in me. Despite how much he traveled to work, he came to every single band concert and school play. When I would show him my shitty Buffy fan art, he would take into his office and brag about it

He had really, really cruel and emotionally distant parents, and as I started getting older, he would always tell me to do whatever I wanted to do and not what anyone else wanted.

I asked him once if he wanted me to go into law or the Air Force, and he told me “god damn, no”. And I think about that a lot.

He had a lot of flaws, and I’ve had a lot of time to accept them and make peace; his love is what remains, it was just that strong.

Anyway, thanks for reading/listening to me rant. I’m gonna give y’all my love and end it with one of my favorite photos of him (also!!! I look like my baby in this!!!). He was the biggest, best, most fun-loving kid and I try to be that every single day.