I did something absolutely disgusting yesterday and I wanna tweet about it so bad

Okay so yesterday was one of the first free days i’ve had in a while so I was tryna treat myself. it was also the day after finishing my period so I was feeling detrimentally horny

now, i’ve been abstinent since before covid so u know ur girl is STRUGGLING out here. so i make my little fap nook and get comfy. i start watching some videos and it’s nice & fun & everything but it’s just not doing it for me...

again, it had been days since i touched myself so i was really truly detrimentally, hump something (or anything), type of horny. so i start looking for something to um... insert. lmfao

one of my twitter mutuals has told me how she uses the ends of makeup brushes. i look for a good shape but nope- nothing looks big enough. i begin to get a little desperate. i start blaming myself for not buying a dildo sooner... start blaming my ex for making me throw my last

away..... then i realize: the fridge.

people use cucumbers and bananas right?? now i’ve never tried this before but i’ve heard of ppl doing it so i look & i find the perfect cucumber. the perfect shaft that builds up to the perfect girth i start skipping to my room excited asf. problem solved right?

so since it was my first time using a fruit/vegetable i’m like i gotta put a condom on it right? (do ppl do that? idek) anyway, while i’m sliding the condom on, i realize this is one of MY cucumbers. that i grow. in my garden. i’m like okay organic! cool!

I didn’t even think about how demented it was that i was basically fucking my own cucumber child. That I had planted as a seed. Watered every day for 70 days. Had cared for as if it was my own seedling...

No I didn’t think about any of that until I was literally about to finish. Right at the brink of climax, the thought creeped into my mind. But at the time it felt powerful. Like I rlly did that. I basically grew a phallus from scratch and fucked it. What couldn’t I do?

at that moment in time I had transcended every worldly limitation imposed upon women since the beginning of time. I was limitless

So with this powerful thought in mind. I finish and boyyyyyyeeee do I finish. I was laying in my lil fap nook after like

Just ashamed. Of the video I had watched. Of myself for the trauma i just inflicted upon my own cucumber child. I felt horrible. I felt absolutely disgusting. So I clean up and go throw the condom away. As I’m about to throw away the cucumber...

I think of all the aspirations my cucumber probably had. It thought it was going to be eaten. Not used & abused like that. I start thinking the only way to make it up to the cucumber is to eat it.

And that is the story of how I fucked my own cucumber child and then ate it

so today, i’ve been trying to find my people. no luck thus far but if you’d like to start an all female vegetable growing/fucking community dm me