i should just. go back to taking lessons tbh

but $$$ and also uni takes time

BUT LIKE. ACTUALLY. I ALR PRACTICE TWO INSTRUMENTS EVERYDAY. an extra hour of lesson on the weekend probably isn't that bad....?

i mean i'm failing my classes tho so idk if the fact that i'm alr spending time on two instruments is a good thing

pros of taking lessons: i get a teacher to tell me what to do instead of flailing about trying to play pieces i can't play
pros of taking lessons w my old teacher: i like her and i'm comfy w learning from her

cons of taking lessons from her: idk back when i was taking lessons it always felt like i was j moving through the grades and when i wasn't doing exams it felt kinda stagnant

and therefore the more important point: idk where else to find a good teacher

idk i j think that the fact that i went through 12 years of formal lessons without ever being pushed to perform is kinda weird. as a pianist

and then there is obviously the constant idea that "maybe if i got pushed harder i would be good enough to do music at uni now"

idk what this thread is for at this point whee