Opinion thread It is incredibly damaging for a female to view her own sexuality & body through the lens of male sexuality. Women & girls are conditioned to believe we aren’t sexual beings in our own right. That we don’t have sex drives

Or deep sexual desires . Pride & ownership of ones sexuality & body is for males. For females it’s shame. All females in western culture start here. Now add into this the girl who is same sex attracted. She must grapple with not only herself as a female but as a female who’s

sexuality is not obtained through a man. She stands out as a more destructive force because she stands only with herself, her desires, her sexuality & her body. She puts no value in the male gaze or the male sex drive. She has stepped outside the boundaries of appropriate

Female sexuality. To brake free of this ownership is a wonderful & amazing experience. I encourage all women to try & engage with their sexuality free of maleness. Specifically for detransitioning lesbians who engaged with their sexuality through the belief they were men it’s

especially important. The detailed ways we do this I will not discuss here as it feels to personal to invasive for a Twitter thread. Yet it is very damaging to our own sense of self & our connection with our bodies. Nothing about our experiences as trans men was normal for our

Actual reality. It was a way to game the system. To own our sexuality without shame & with out men by trying to be men. We gained the power to be “ourselves” (an autonomous human) because we didn’t know how to do that as women. Because there was abuse or shame. Or because we just

didn’t know we could.

A little about me: The first 6 months of my detransition was spent purging myself of all things male. Music, movies, art even video games that didn’t have a female character. All things were women, with women’s voice, experiences & form. I had used porn

Heavily the Last 4 years & could only engage with myself through the imagined male self I had created. I stopped all porn, I haven’t touched it since & I never will. It was very destructive. Not only to me but my relationship. It was a painful process. One of the hardest

Experiences I’ve had To put myself through as an adult. I couldn’t have sex for several month & when I did I would have panic attacks for at least 2 weeks after. I struggled to have an orgasm because I couldn’t engage with myself as a woman. I was repulsed by my body, my

Genitals. It was an intense experience that looking back could be called a type of boot camp. A stripping away & rebuilding. I had believed that porn was embracing my sexuality. I had believed that showing my body was Empowering. I had believed that I could be a man with a pussy

Yet all this lead me to darker & darker places. It took away what I was trying to gain. It was a delusion & a maladaptive coping mechanism. I very good one, it’s amazing how much humans can twist their world to survive & get out of bed everyday. But it was not truth, it was not

reality, it was not my true self.

I know there are those that will say this was my experience only & for some women this isn’t the case. It is true, this was my experience, & these are my beliefs based on observations of the world I see around me.

It’s also based on the experiences of other Detrans women & trans men I have known throughout my life. These experiences have lead me to see no value in women embracing themselves or their sexuality through maleness or transitioning. It is by definition a lie. How can one find

their true self in a lie? I very much encourage #detrans women to rid themselves of all things male. To find themselves in the female. Because that is what’s true & it’s beautiful because it’s your own reflection not anyone else’s. I hope this helps someone.