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THE DAY I MET MAGNETO (thread)
I have to run a few errands, so I go to the grocery store first. I see Magneto browsing the soup aisle. He& #39;s lifting the cans with his powers and checking the nutrition information. Trying to stay cool (I& #39;m actually very excited, it& #39;s not...
I have to run a few errands, so I go to the grocery store first. I see Magneto browsing the soup aisle. He& #39;s lifting the cans with his powers and checking the nutrition information. Trying to stay cool (I& #39;m actually very excited, it& #39;s not...
...every day you see Magneto at a local grocery store in Lemoyne, PA), I say, "Sometimes I like to get the Progresso chicken & sausage gumbo. For the price, it can& #39;t be beat." He checks the can (the last one on the shelf, but that& #39;s okay), nods and puts it in his cart.
"Wow," I think, "I hope Magneto enjoys that soup."
Next I need to get a real heavy duty broom to sweep my porch, so I head over to the hardware store. Wouldn& #39;t you know it, Magneto is there as well, and he& #39;s looking at all the cool hammers and wrenches.
Next I need to get a real heavy duty broom to sweep my porch, so I head over to the hardware store. Wouldn& #39;t you know it, Magneto is there as well, and he& #39;s looking at all the cool hammers and wrenches.
I notice that he& #39;s opened the can of Progresso gumbo and he& #39;s drinking it straight out of the floating can. I don& #39;t see any steam or anything so I guess it& #39;s just room temp? Either way, I& #39;ve already talked to Magneto and I don& #39;t want to seem like a bother so I just walk past...
...him, but he stops me and says, "You& #39;re the one that told me of this soup? The taste is insufferable. I should have known better than to have trusted a powerless human." I suggest that he should have placed the soup in a microwave for a couple minutes.
He scoffs and upturns the soup can, pouring cold gumbo all over my brand new white shirt. I don& #39;t want to make him any angrier so I meekly apologize and continue on with my business. I check out and I& #39;ve got my broom, and I& #39;m heading out to the car.
I ask myself why I went to the grocery store first; there& #39;s ice cream in the trunk. I check to see if it& #39;s melted or anything. I can& #39;t find it. I turn to see Magneto eating my ice cream directly out of the tub. Magneto looks at me and says, "I& #39;m sure you know...
...I could have killed you one hundred times over on your little shopping trip. Think of this next time you volunteer a soup recommendation."
I am distraught. I had hoped this would be the time my hero Magneto would finally end my life. He must have gotten wise to my schemes.
I am distraught. I had hoped this would be the time my hero Magneto would finally end my life. He must have gotten wise to my schemes.
I drive home silently. I pass away in my home at age 96. At my wake and viewing, Magneto pours a can of soup on my preserved corpse. No one says anything.
