tw // ghosting drama

i had a internet friend i really considered a friend when i was 16ish. i was pretty desperate for some friendship, but he just thought i was "not like the other girls" i guess. i told him straight up "im not dating" and he just wouldnt take no for an answer.

after a lot of "so... does that mean youd wanna date me ;)" "haha no. stop asking" jokes i finally said "if you ask one more time, ill cut contact. stop fucking asking" and he went on a whole "friendzone" tirade and how i might as well date him since we talk everyday-ish.

so i cut contact with him cause i got scared of that weird possessive anger.

months later he found me online again (was looking on the same anime forms) and i said "hey maybe youre okay now that youve thought about it" but no. he just went off about how i "ghosted" him and so we

were "even" in terms of getting mad at each other. so we should call it a draw and restart our conversations.

i gave him a lengthy statement about how "no we werent even, this is not a fucking apology. and youve never apologized" and he got mad again and kept entering all the

other conversations with my discord friends (they were kind enough to try and cut contact with him too) so he just made new accounts and in the end, i just had to delete all accounts linking to that handle/email completely.

...so now im moca~ (well my last handle was lame anyways.)

im still afraid of giving too much information like he had (my real first name, a picture of my masked face, emails, chat ids) but it was really hard for me to want to reach out on the internet again...

thank god 15 year old me made spare accounts linking to one email address that made it easy to disappear. and i never sent him my full picture... i didnt spill all of it, but his anger was really scary and i was like "ah. this is the real person behind that niceness."

ill delete this thread later.

(even now, im scared by some miracle he will see this and connect the dots. i dont want to abandon the friends i have here... or restart this twitter ive grown to love... i really love this twitter. i dont want to abandon it.)