VOTE DEMOCRAT TO STOP THIS MADNESS! Joe Biden has a smart plan to halt this insane recovery by shutting down the American energy industry, locking down the country, and raising taxes through the roof. Let's bring Obama "funemployment" back and Make the Welfare State Great Again! https://twitter.com/SteveGuest/status/1321795190328274946
You remember the good old days of Food Stamp Nation and "jobs created or saved," don't you? Vote Biden and you'll be placed under comfortable house arrest, your needs tended by the loving State, while America gets the punishment it deserves for two centuries of injustice.
With those ugly jobs Trump forced on everyone destroyed, you'll have plenty of free time to focus on your cowboy poetry or whatever you really love. Thanks to Joe's abortion policies, there will be fewer children running around to distract Americans from self-fulfillment.
If you're lucky enough to live near a big city, live entertainment will be provided nightly by BLM and Antifa. Remember, science has proven they're immune to the coronavirus, unlike you! Remember to strap on three or four masks if you go outside to watch the show!
If you have any bad feelings about Bidenomics, just bring up Ruling Party News on your TV or tablet. They'll make you feel bad about feeling bad until you feel better. Won't it be nice to have an administration that isn't held responsible for anything that goes wrong?
Best of all, while you're enjoying funemployment and coronavirus house arrest, you'll be able to feel your carbon footprint shrinking. The Earth will rejoice as a lovely silence descends upon America. Don't worry - China will still have tons of factories to make what you need!
Thanks to jobs disappearing and businesses closing, you won't need your car, and you wouldn't be able to afford gas anyway - so why not turn it into a decorative planter? Why not do some gardening once capitalism isn't hassling you any more?
And get ready for a great rebirth of family under Joe Biden, once California-style rolling blackouts are nationwide under his energy policies. Playing family board games by candlelight? Old-fashioned cooking instead of microwaves and electric ranges? YES PLEASE! THANKS JOE!
All we have to do is stop this insane record-breaking recovery by voting for Biden next week. It's impossible for the economy to grow this fast under Democrat theories, so it can't really be happening anyway, unless Trump is exploiting minorities and the poor for slave labor.
Yeah, that's the ticket! Vote Biden to liberate America from the slavery of employment! A recovery like this is going to create tons of jobs, and those jobs will hunt you down and stuff you with paychecks unless you put Joe in charge! Also jobs give you coronavirus. /end
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